Category Archives: Introspection

Groover, Introspection

We are all in the gutter

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A guest post from Groover:

It was Oscar Wilde who penned the line, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”.

It’s a favourite of mine, along with many other Wilde quotes, but to me it perfectly describes the principle that it is not circumstance that defines us, but our attitude and response to those circumstances.

I came across this on my way to work today. I thought that it was a discarded bouquet of flowers but on further inspection it turned out to be the perfect embodiment of my attitude to life from this moment on.

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We may all be economically “in the gutter” but from now on, I’m this plant.

Living full-out in the moment, shouting at the world that this maybe a gutter but look at me I’m giving life a red-hot go and doing what I do best.

Today I paused and noticed the flowers. They taught me a valuable lesson.

Introspection

Cheery Christmas

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Yesterday Santa came to work to wish me a merry Christmas.

I had been a VERY good girl indeed and was given a bottle of Amberley Shiraz.

I felt like drinking it straight-away but that isn’t the behaviour of a very good girl is it?

*warning… rant ahead.

This Christmas has been stressful.  I find myself crying on the way to work for no good reason.  Well apart from the obvious ones. 

You know, working full time while trying to get the house and garden in some kind of order for Christmas day and do my Christmas shopping.

It would have all been a lot less stressful if I was an organised person and did all that preparation stuff weeks ago.

Of course no one else cares what the house and garden looks like so why I bother trying to get anyone else to help is beyond me.

So here’s my day yesterday.

Got up early to start work early enough to enable me to leave early to do some Christmas shopping.

Left at 3 and went shopping for table decorations, crackers and the like.

Got home at 6, put on a load of laundry and had dinner (cooked by Groover).

Cleaned up after dinner.

Folded 5 loads of washing. (washed in part by Dippity)

Spent two hours trimming and weeding and sweeping the jungle next to the pool.
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Went to bed.

This morning I woke at six with a blinding headache.  Took two paracetomol.  Went to work.

And I’ve been crying all morning.

I can’t work out why.  I’m not normally this much of a mess.

And it’s pressure I am applying to myself. 

As I said, the rest of my family don’t care that the pool is a mess so why am I beating myself up about it.  Why add it to the impossibly long list of crap I have to do before Christmas?

Why not just cut myself a break?

I guess the fact is that I am not superhuman.  I can’t work full time and organise the house and dinner for 16 people, and go to our regular Christmas eve party and organise Christmas presents in three days.

It’s not like I’m even doing the cooking!  Groover is (apart from a salad) and we’re getting everyone to bring food.

So you know what?

I’m letting go trying to be perfect.  If presents aren’t bought, if there’s a big pile of clippings next to the pool, if the house is a tip, well… hey I’m human.

A normal, disorganised, but hopefully not teary person.

Merry Christmas.

PS:  Of course I won’t really let go.  I’ll beat myself up for being a bad mother, a lousy housekeeper, a lazy gardener, a stressed-out hostess and somehow, it will all come together.

Just book me in to the funny farm in January.

Groover, Introspection

What retirement could be

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I took this photo on our normal Saturday morning Cottesloe walk which is fast becoming a tradition for Groover and me.

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It’s kind of a scary and sweet thought mixed together…

Introspection, Relationships, Work

Not acting anymore

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Isn’t it interesting that when you let go of something, the something happens!

I’ve been appointed to the job I’ve been doing for the last year (after acting for two years in a similar position the years before).

My boss wrote a lovely affirming email and sent it to my colleagues and today has been very pleasant getting lots of kind supportive emails congratulating me.

The thing is about a month ago I decided that I didn’t care anymore. 

The acting thing, which used to frustrate me, I turned around in my brain as my “get-out-of-jail-free” card. 

You know, if it all got too much I could say “I want to go back to my old job” and walk away.

I dropped the “acting” from my signature.  I figured that I was actually doing the job.  It had been over six months.

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And then I was appointed.

It occurred to me that I did the same thing way back in 1992 when I was living with Groover in Subiaco.  (that’s where today’s photo comes in *wink*)

We’d been going out for a couple of years and it seemed to me that he was “the one” but as yet he had not raised the subject of marriage or future commitment.

Again, I decided to turn that into a positive.  My get-out-of-jail-free card again!

The next month he came back from a holiday with his mates and proposed.

A life lesson learned?

What else can I apply it do…

Introspection, Orchids

Stopping to smell the flowers

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Not that south west orchids smell – well not that I know of – but it occured to me today that I haven’t seen even one orchid in the wild this year.

In fact at all.

And I love these little treasures of the bush.

It makes me feel good to find them.  Feel good to know that they are there.

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Are these the indicators that tell you your life is out of balance?

Maybe it’s the holiday season or maybe it’s Groover’s change in work.  His change becoming my change?

Or at least forcing me to reassess my life.

What are the indicators in your life?

Introspection

Graffitti illusions

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So my morning walks take me past this piece of art on the North Cottesloe foreshore…

And every time I do I think “Grrrr, some little toerag has spray painted that artwork!” …

But they haven’t.

I wonder if the artist intended me to think that?  
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Was I supposed to feel relief when my fears and suspicions proved false?

A sense that all was okay with the world and it was my negative thinking that was making my world seem damaged and vandalised?

Because all I really feel is a bit pissed off at being tricked into admitting that my outlook is not always glass half full.

Hmphh.

Blogging, Introspection

Appreciating the unappreciated

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Just a quick note to point you towards Chuck Westerbrook’s blog where he is conducting a blogging experiment to highlight and throw some loving towards blogs with great content but perhaps low readership.

I’m intrigued to see who he chooses to support!  

Of course everyone who signs up (including me) hopes it will be them whose selected from among the masses as a fantastic blog who needs to be recognised but the reality is, your blog stands or falls on its content.

It’s interesting.  I started writing this blog for myself I guess, as a record of our lives… it was public, then it wasn’t, now it is again.

I didn’t realise how much I appreciated you, dear reader, until earlier this year I lost my site for three days. OMG I was bereft!
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My virtual community had become real.

Blogging has become more important to me in recent years, I think possibly because I don’t have that regular connection with a radio community anymore.  I love the interaction.  I love reading other people’s blogs and getting an insight into their lives.  I love being part of a virtual community.

All of this is a long-winded way of saying thank you.  Thanks for visiting (you know how I love the drop in) and thanks for commenting and (for those of you who do) thanks for letting me in to your life.

And if you are new to redsultana – welcome – and please check out my Linky Love page.

Introspection, WA

Broome-time reunion

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I’m in Broome today for work – I know, what a bitch of a job eh? – anyway I’m strolling through Chinatown trying to find a sandwich at 3pm – not easy – I almost had to go to Subway – when I spot a girl I knew at school.

She reminded me that it has been 25 years since I left high school this year.  25 YEARS!

How old did I feel?  As old as her at least.

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It was like that at the 20th reunion – I left with the realisation that there’s a reason why I don’t see that many people from school… they weren’t my friends then and the passage of time – with little or no contact – has not changed things.  I see the people I liked at school, and if I liked them and I don’t see them – well that’s usually because our lives have gone in different directions.

Still, it wasn’t a particularly comfortable feeling.  I wonder if the same applies to facebook?

Introspection, WA

Flashback to the Polly Pipe opening

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Growing up with an civil engineer for a dad meant that we went to a lot of openings of big infrastructure projects.

Stirling Bridge
This is me and my brother at the opening of the Stirling Bridge in Fremantle. There is a better photo somewhere but I can’t find it.

I’ve crawled through the middle of the Stirling Bridge (Dad’s first project as project manager), I was been there when they cut the ribbon on the Mount Henry Bridge…

So perhaps it’s only natural that I’ve taken my kids to similar events.

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Opening of the Graham Farmer Freeway Tunnel

My kids certainly look more happy to be there than I did at Dad’s bridge!

For those of you not from Perth – we Australians have a habit of nicknaming infrastructure… well anything really… and it wasn’t long before Graham “Polly” Farmer, lent his nickname to the tunnel – hence the Polly Pipe.

Introspection, Work

Stop. Think. Compliment

3 Comments

Ennuin July 2008

Today someone took the time to tell me what a good job I was doing. And that person is someone I manage.

I felt really good.

No. REALLY good.

The lesson was learned.

It’s not enough to give positive feedback down the chain – it’s important to also send it up the chain.

Yes is feels brown-nosy and sucky, but in a world where you usually only hear from people when something is going pear-shaped (and I’m not talking about my figure), the smallest drop of kindness stands out.
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But doesn’t it feel awkward?!

Finding a moment to stop and tell your boss that you appreciate what they do and how they lead is not easy… it’s uncomfortable. It’s not “the Australian way”.

The thing to do I’ve discovered is to hold on to that good feeling you get when you’re complimented and push it outwards… with your courage.

It might make their day.

It made mine.