Trip of a Lifetime by Liz Byrski

First of all a declaration - I know Liz personally having worked with her. Since that time she’s gone on to write 4 novels and one memoir and probably countless non-fiction works.

Trip of a Lifetime is Liz’s latest novel and is set in Newcastle in New South Wales (where according to the acknowledgements, her son lives). Heather Delaney is the local member and one night after work she is shot in the shoulder. This sets up the tension in the story which compares and contrasts the lives of several “older” women.

There’s Heather - successful, single mid 50s politician. Jill, successful working mother of two tweens, mid 50s. Diane, bitter divorcee, also in her 50s with a grown up daughter on drugs and Barbara, in her 70s, single, successful now retired, with a “male friend of significance” shall we say.

All of Liz’s books feature women of a certain age and that certain age is the one that no one else is writing about! Perhaps that is why her books have found their niche. These women are still having sex (well… most of them), and still have many of the problems - insecurity, body-image, jealousy etc - that their younger peers have. We just don’t hear about them.

Once your hair turns grey remember - you turn invisible - or at least, that’s how it seems.

In the story Heather gets contacted by an old flame - an old flame who it must be said treated her rather shabbily in the past. Perhaps she is vulnerable after the shooting but she latches onto this new-old love and appears to be falling into the old relationship.

Now, I don’t know if you remember Liz’s story - she wrote about it in her memoir Remember Me but I wondered if she used her rekindled love story as the basis for this relationship between Heather and Ellis.

I’m not saying that her Karl is anything like Ellis - that would probably be slander - but I wonder if the emotional roller-coaster that Heather goes on are like the ones she must have felt when Liz reunited with Karl? The whole weird transposition of bodies… you remember the young person you were in love with - your body remembers their body - but the reality is the older version. Very different from growing older together I think.

And then (and I don’t know whether this is Liz’s personal experience or not) mentally you’re in a different place. You’ve added decades of experience to your decision making processes… emotional as well as practical… but you expect your old lover to respond in the same way they would have back then. A very interesting dilemma.

I wonder if any relationship could survive that?

Anyway I digress, back to the book.

It’s a fast, holiday read. A bit Maeve Binchy. Interesting but not challenging - but it’s not claiming to be Booker Prize fiction. :)

Always read the fine print

Do you read the fine print of medication your doctor prescribes?

Always?

To be honest I take no more than a cursory glance usually but when I was recently prescribed Celebrex for this weird numb toe that I’ve got well I thought I’d read the fine print. This was mainly because my doctor said “You’re not allergic to sulphur are you?” I don’t know why but that made me think - “what’s in this thing?!”

So I looked it up on Dr Google and discovered all manner of nasty side effects - the types of things that you hear advertised on American television ads for all those drugs they push.

“This drug is great but causes this this and this to happen and don’t take it if you’re that that or that.” The type of advertising that makes me instantly think: “There’s no way I’d take that!”

So I read further and discovered that you shouldn’t take Celebrex if you are on cold and flu medication, which of course I have been given this nasty cold that I have. But it doesn’t say how long you have to wait until you’re clear of the effects of the cold tablets. I figure it can’t be much more than 8 hours given that the effect is supposed to wear off after 4… so I ring a pharmacist and check and I’m good to go.

Now probably I wouldn’t have died or anything but given the list of possible nasty side effects when you take this drug on its own - I’m glad I checked the fine print.

OMG! I forgot it was Mother’s Day!

Well not that it was Mother’s Day. Of course I remembered it was Mother’s Day and was looking forward to breakfast in bed and a day when the kids slaved after me. And I was planning to pop over to Mum’s with a bunch of flowers and have a cup of tea.

This is my extreme Mum, sledding at Goshen, USA, earlier this year.

I was still feeling rather sorry for myself in bed nursing my cold when the call came.

“So we’ll see you at 12 for lunch?” says Dad.
“What?”
“Lunch at the club - your whole family - remember? I booked it ages ago?”
“… um… yes… okay we’ll be there.”
“Oh and don’t forget Groover’s mum.”
“Sure…” I say weakly falling back against the pillow.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” asks Groover.

Dad had booked us in to his club for lunch weeks ago. I’d forgotten. Hugamuga and Groover were going to football at 11.30am and we hadn’t told his mother that she was invited along too.

I swung into action. Rang the coach - turned out Hugamuga wasn’t on the list for this weekend anyway - warned him that Groover wouldn’t be there to be a runner (the coach was okay with that). Groover rang his mum and told her to get her glad rags on - he was taking her to lunch.

And we were ready. Drugged up to the eyeballs in cold and flu tablets but dressed, made up, in the car.

It was a very pleasant lunch and thank goodness it all came together.

In the afternoon I was a “proper” mother and ironed my kids’ shirts for school. (Usually I make them do it themselves)

And it’s FYO dinner night at the Redsultana house tonight!

Because frankly my dears, while I could give a damn, I need to put my feet up. After all, it is mother’s day, remember?

PS: Is it Mother’s Day or Mothers’ Day? Some apostrophe help would be greatly appreciated. I originally wrote Mothers’ Day as it is a day for all Mothers right? But then it looked wrong and I thought well really you only have one mother (or two maybe if you’re a surrogate or adopted) so maybe it should be Mother’s Day… What do you think?

PPS: FYO = Find Your Own

Are laptops for school children a good idea?

I’m sitting here with my daughter’s school laptop in bed (feeling crapola with a cold) as I write this so I’m aware that I’m being a bit hypocritical…

Here’s the thing. My daughter has gone to a new school this year. A school that insists that every child should use a laptop from Grade 5. Their argument is that we live in an age where computers and digital devices are a part of our lives and that we should make use of every tool we can to educate our children. And yes, I get that.

But since we’ve had this third computer in the house we barely see our 11 year old. It’s Youtube 24/7 - or until Groover goes mental because we’ve been shaped again. She doesn’t seem to read books anymore - it’s chapter after chapter of fan fiction.

We insist that she uses the computer in public and we’ve learned that you take the laptop away from her at bedtime - what I’m not seeing is a whole lot of homework done on the computer and given that, I wonder why the school doesn’t store the wretched things in the classroom. Do they really need to take them home?

The only good thing is that at least she’s not fighting with my son now over the second computer.

So here I am enjoying her MacBook interface on our wireless system (which doesn’t seem to work for my work laptop) and whinging.

Partly it’s the lazy parent in me that finds it hard to cope - I get tired of continually taking it away from her and telling her off for exceeding our bandwidth quota again.

And part of it is my old fashioned sense of media. I want my child to enjoy books as books! Not fan fiction. Although, having said that if she was writing her own stories… well now, that would be different. And maybe endless reading of it will lead to writing her own…

In the meantime my darling Dipp has earned a merit award at school. So maybe the laptop isn’t the monster I make it out to be.

Oh, you ask, why do I have precious time on the new toy? Ah, she’s out on her brother’s bike getting some fresh air.

I asked her first!

Some parenting tips please! How do you manage computer time in your home?

photo credit: Apollo-Jack

Why I’ve cancelled my facebook account

Well… deactivated it… it’s VERY difficult to pull out of it completely… I just got sick of all the poking, vampire biting… yes even hugs…

In fact, no words today… I’m going to let BBC3 do the work for me:

Thanks to Nigel and Steven Humour for the link. :)

I’m FINE, thank you

One of the speakers at a recent forum I attended was psychotherapist Jackie Furey. An entertaining speaker, I found her words touched me in ways I can’t explain… or maybe I can… what time of the month is it?

She talked about it being fine… in the way that when someone says “how are you?” You say: “Fine.”

Jackie says in psychotherapist-speak, fine means:

Fucked up
Insecure
Neurotic and
Emotional

Is she right?

Her message was that if you don’t do your feelings, they’ll do you. And I guess that’s what touched a nerve with me. I don’t think I have been doing my feelings and once a month - bang - they do me.

I’m teary, emotional, paranoid, despairing.

Two days later, I’m positive, engaged, excited and enthusiastic… the problem goes away but every month it’s the same wet deal.

Yesterday I noticed that my big toe on my left foot was numb… that weird feeling numb just before you get pins and needles - you know what I mean? I can feel the fuzziness go up the back of my leg and I think it ends in my neck. My toe has now been weirdly numb for two days.

Maybe it’s unconnected but somehow I wonder if my feelings are doing me. I’m off to the doctor tomorrow to check it out and maybe a chiropractor or osteopath as well.

Of course, Groover has been completely supportive… “Maybe you’ve got MS”, he says not helpfully, “…or Motor Neuron Disease… you never know it might be some sort of stroke…”

Thanks darling, just remember, you said “In sickness and in health”.

That should shut him up.

:)

UPDATE: I’m fine. Hehe. Well, I probably have some swelling in the lower sacral part of my spine which is encroaching on a nerve so I’m going to try some antinflammatories and see if that works, do some physio or chiro, and if it’s not fixed in a couple of weeks do a cat scan to see if that gives us more clues as to what is going on. As well I’ve had full bloods taken in preparation for a general check up. The first for years. Am I a bloke?

In the meantime it’s just me and my fuzzy toe.

Television ratings and Gordon Ramsey

I love him. You may not. The question is given the level of “coarse language” should Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant programs - eg Kitchen Nightmares - be shown on free-to-air television as early as 8.30pm?

Today the radio was filled with talkback… yes still talking about Troy Buswell but also about the amount of swearing on Gordon Ramsey’s popular program “Kitchen Nightmares”. This show is on at 8.30pm on Tuesday and Thursday nights and is rated M for coarse language.

Ramsey’s feedback style is… direct. If you haven’t caught his show before he is more likely than not to say to some hapless chef ” What the f*&k is this? It’s f*^king sh!t. Call yourself a f$#king chef?!”

I haven’t counted how many swear words he might say but put it this way - he doesn’t hold back.

One night, albeit when it was on a later timeslot, I even heard the C-word dropped. My jaw hit my chest in disbelief… did I really hear that word on FTA telly?

I love his show though. I tune in every night, record it to miss the ads, and settle in with my cuppa to watch him take apart a restaurant and make a success of it and he obviously rates otherwise the TV execs wouldn’t schedule his show three nights a week…

There’s no doubt though that he is a bully in the way he gives his feedback. It might make good telly but I would hate to have anyone treat me as he treats these restaurant owners who presumably sign up for some Sado-Masochism - Gordon Ramsey style.

But that is all by-the-by… should his show, given the level of coarse language (very high) be allowed to be screened at 8.30?

What say you, my friend?

Useful, random and untrue

I really love this photo - straight out of the camera - the morning light is so buttery.

Guera tagged me for the eight random things meme with a twist. Now I’ve done the 8 random things meme before but not with a twist… but then, the next day, my new found blogging buddy Mrs M from New York Renovator tagged me with the 7 useful things about me meme and so I thought - randomly - that I would combine the two and do the:

7 Useful Things About Me Meme - with a twist!

And here’s the twist - one of these useful things about me is a lie. Guess in comments which one…

1. I can’t sleep if my feet are cold. This is useful if you want me to go to sleep.
2. I have made two teddy bears in my life. Just in case you need one made anytime.
3. I am a fast reader, especially when I like the book. Need something read? Call me.
4. I’m a very good navigator specialising in clear directions. Who needs TomTom? I can even do a BIM accent.
5. I can make an excellent sponge. Afternoon tea anyone? I’m your girl.
6. When it comes to Belbin’s personalities at work - I’m more your resource investigator.
7. Having said that, I love me a good spreadsheet. Excel is my friend.

Okay there you go. Seven useful facts about me… well six facts and one fiction.

Which one is the fiction?

Who is tagged?

And I tag for those of you who are interested…

1. Niki at her new version of Hot Water
2. Hugamuga - my son… very interested in his useful facts!
3. Hazelblackberrry at A Bex and a Good Lie Down
4. Ken Armstrong from Ken Armstrong Writing Stuff
5. M from EasternMax
6. Simone from Simone Van Hattem
7. Karen Cheng from Karen Cheng’s Snippets of Life

Now just to make life a little more interesting one of these blogs is not like the others… can you pick the odd one out?

And now for some real reality tv

Growing up in India would have its challenges I suspect. Especially if you have the misfortune of being dubbed a “good luck baby”.

I have no words.

BB08 - could it get any worse?

Last week the most popular search terms which ended up at my blog were “Rima” and “Rima bb08″. Now that of course was because last Friday night on BB08, Rima broke her leg during FNL and so I imagine there were a few worried viewers wondering what had happened to their favourite - now what was the term Ben used? Ah that’s right - height challenged housemate.

It was probably also due to the fact that there were a number of “tasteful” photographs, that her husband claims Rima is “quite happy with” circulating the net.

Excellent.

Now BB has sunk to the level of “dwarf porn” - not that Rima is in fact a dwarf, she says she has a very rare condition, so rare in fact that the condition was named after her.

Any normal reality television program might have stopped there, but BB doesn’t know where the line is, so they got together with another fellow who doesn’t know where the line is and asked him if he’d like to enter the house as a guest.

Recently described in a seminar I attended as the “Sum of all our fears”, enter Corey Worthington, a minor, aged just 17, now a guest in the freak show that is Big Brother 08.

To supervise him, they’ve challenged the recently evicted nanna, Terri, who cites her influences as Pauline Hanson and so you know, is the modicum of tolerance, with the task of guiding Corey in the house.

Her entry caused a full two minutes of continuous bleeping as the housemates expressed their joy at seeing the oldest ever housemate back again, a housemate they themselves chose to evict.

Channel 10, I can handle the f-word, but call me squeamish, references to dwarf porn after my Sunday roast do disturb me.

Excuse me. I need to shower. I feel a little dirty.

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