A comment from Kelley made me think about “The Drop In”. She hates them.
I like them. Generally love them in fact. But I can see why she might not.
Three simple rules
There are a few things you need to consider:
- Know your friend
Is she a casual dresser? Does she keep her house in a reasonably good state? Does she care what state it is in when people come calling? What is happening in her life now? If she has a new boyfriend – she might not appreciate the casual visitor at 9am on a Sunday morning.
- Choose a respectable hour
In other words – don’t drop in too early or too late. You may not be greeted with the friendliness you expect.
- Be prepared for rejection
Okay this sounds a bit harsh because they are not rejecting you per se, but they might be unable or unwilling to see you right then. I don’t care how far you’ve come – it doesn’t matter that you’ve caught two trains and three buses to get there. Lets face it – this was your choice. And not everyone likes surprises.
You never know… you might have put your friend in an awkward situation. Maybe they were about to meet up with another friend who you don’t get on with – maybe that friend is already in the kitchen. She might have her new man in the boudoir – or her old one. Maybe she is just very busy and has organised her day to get stuff that has to be done, done. Maybe her hair is in rollers and her house is a tip and she just doesn’t want to be seen like that.
…guilt leads to resentment and anger…
Whatever. Don’t take it personally. Don’t make your friend feel guilty because they can’t see you – no matter how trivial you think the reason is – because guilt leads to resentment and anger – and do you really want them to resent you?
Yes, even if you bring muffins – be prepared for rejection.
The safest thing to do is to CALL FIRST.
Having said all that – I do still love the drop-in. Especially on a day like today when I’m bored and looking for something to do.
Maybe I could come round and visit you?