Alison’s vagina

I was witness to a very special moment this weekend at a barbecue celebrating our storytelling success at the Blue Room… watch out for Barefaced Stories at a pub near you soon!

Alison with her newly discovered vagina

The backstory:

A few weeks ago, Ali and I signed up for a storytelling course… you remember that nude beach story… that course…

Anyway during that course Alison told this fabulous story about how as a 19 year old girl fresh from the country she met an artist (read: picked up an artist from a bustop) and how he was keen to sculpt her vagina.

The story is fabulous and when the podcast is out I will share it here.

So I won’t go into details… but after she told that story, two other participants decided they HAD to find the sculpture.

I had the same idea and I was going to use social media to find it but they were far more practical.
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The guy who found it – lets call him Sean – just went round to the house and asked the guy living there if it was still around. The guy said he’d look and three days later Sean drove past and saw it on the verge ready for him to pick up.

Alison had no idea.

And no one told her.

For hours we watched and waited for her to notice the small “half-a-carton” sized piece of limestone on the grass.

When the moment came, her reaction was priceless.

Witness for yourself.

The summer of our discontent

Now this is the way to read in stupid hot weather

I tried to avoid a weather post, I honestly did.

But more than three weeks of stupidly hot weather, hot and humid weather, finally broke me.

Jeez Louise – how long is this going to last!

It’s more than a koala bear.

Up to today we’ve had 21 days over 30 degrees celcius… and the day before that was 29.6, and before that were another three days of over 30s and the day before that was 29.8… all this can be better seen here.

The last day approaching anything close to bearable was the day after Australia Day.  Humphhh!

And it’s not so much the temperatures… which are bad enough… I can handle me a few days over 35 because I am Australian and climate control is for wimps… it’s the HUMIDITY!

OMG does Perth suddenly think it is Sydney?

Are we now in the tropics?

Hello?!

Mediterranean climate… read it weather gods… DRY heat!

The climate is characterized by warm to hot, dry summers and mild to cool, wet winters. [wiki]

High buy cheap sildenafil levels of stress, your diet, and exercise to name a few. One of the most popular spyware programs is brand viagra prices Adaware. Ajanta is the first pharmaceutical company to launch ED viagra pills from canada medication in bulk, it’s wise to choose an ED Trial Pack. Domestic chores like amerikabulteni.com buying viagra in uk bathing, cooking starts being negatively affected by hard water. None of this humidity is mentioned in the small print.

I am so over it.

I spend my day in barely there bikinis and I don’t care that they barely cover my flabby bits.

I drape myself over couches with a fan directed up my fanny and drink long cool glasses of water from the fridge or Sav Blanc if I think it is past wine o’clock.

I dip myself in the pool at all hours just to cool my body temperature.

And we eat cold foods or take out.

I might be reading “The Winter of Our Disconnect” (very good btw and an interesting choice for the year 12 English syllabus) but I am living “The Summer of our Discontent”.

Bah humbug!

 

As a sidenote:  When my son started reading the aforementioned English text he said to me:  “I’m scared. She is just like you. Works for the same place, loves The Moth and This American Life and makes her kids listen to them in the car (I would add Radiolab), and writes LOL in capital letters to appear cool…” ouch!

When I told Susan via Facebook (What?  You thought she remained disconnected? lol), she replied: “The thought of that conversation has been making me lol (lower case, mind you) for the past two days.”

The bottom line is though I may yearn for the ability to pull the plug on my family’s electronic lifelines – there doesn’t seem much point now that she’s actually done it.  And besides… how would I blog the experience???!

Saturday musings

*

Sweaty me

10.30am, Saturday, it is hot and humid.

Feeling:  pious because I have done my c25k run/walk today

Hearing:  New Zealand radio on digital

Tasting:  coffee from our coffee machine – Yallingup Coffee Company

Loving:  that is the weekend and tomorrow I get to catch up with my new storytelling friends

Regretting:  that I left it so long to do my c25k run… now I am behind and getting fat
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Hoping:  that Aftermath will be fabulous this afternoon

Wishing:  that someone else could do the grocery shopping for me

Laughing:  at my last score on National Flag Quiz… how embarrassment

Avoiding:  doing the shopping but wait… there will be air conditioning at the shopping centre!

Enjoying:  our newly cleaned pool – thanks Groover!

 

*I have totally stolen this from Von.

The geek within

My gorgeous storytelling buddy

No, my gorgeous storytelling buddy is NOT a geek, that’s me.

And my inner geek has been seriously excited by the chance to go to the Aussie Bloggers Conference

Not that if I’d been organised I couldn’t have gone anyway but I wasn’t so I was on the waiting list and then I get an email yesterday from Fiona, well really from an organiser who cc’d me in on her reply to Fiona, and Fiona couldn’t go so I got her ticket. 

Yay!

I booked flights before I could think things through too quickly (after making of course the requisite checks with spouse and boss) and I’m going to Sydney!

Excitement.

Anyway why is my gorgeous friend in the photo of this post?
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Well we’ve been catching up recently on a Friday afternoon down at one of our fave haunts – Havana – and when I told her about the conference she was all “hey I think I’ll be in Sydney around the same time”.

Awesome!

Because she is a blogger too…

So now the plan is that she’ll come to Sydney the weekend before – we’ll hang out at the dinner with hopefully James as well – and then we’ve got the next couple of days to chillax.

Double yay!

Good things are supposed to come in threes…

Can’t wait to find out what the triple yay thing is.

Affect versus effect

As seen on the inside of a lift door at a City of Perth carpark

I’m not going to hold myself up as a grammar guru or a spelling bee queen – no.

It would be too easy to find an example of where I’ve made a mistake.

For instance the other day I was updating my facebook on my new phone and the autotext chose the wrong stationary/ery and I didn’t pick it up.

So… mea culpa.

But then, I’m not a signwriter, a copywriter, where my mistakes are writ large.

(I am a journalist though so I should bloody know better)

Anyhoo, the other day I was in town and I saw this sign.

I was outraged!

“If your behaviour is EFFECTING your family”

Surely a signwriter  would know that “affect” is the verb and “effect” is the noun and therefore in the tradition of other “ing” words – wouldn’t you use the verb.

Jump – Jumping

Run – Running

Shout – Shouting

Affect – Affecting

So indignant, I decided to write this post and to support my argument I thought I’d look up some online resources.

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Then I discovered that there was a whole website just on the confusion between affect and effect.

And then I got really confused.

And now I think I was wrong.

(I know… hard to believe)

This is what the affect vs effect website says:

So, nearly every time you use the –ing form of one of these words as the main verb, unless the meaning is “accomplishing or producing an effect,” the choice to make is affecting.

An example of when to use effecting is this sentence:

The manager’s new plan was effecting a remarkable change in morale.

But… it still looks wrong to me.

What do you think?

UPDATE:  It is wrong.

I wrote to the Standing Committee of Spoken English and got this reply:  The wording in the statement you’ve quoted is definitely wrong. Any style guide would discuss this matter.   It’s a very common mistake.  I practically expect to see the wrong one.  Sadly, a lot of journos get it wrong.

From RH on Facebook:   “I’ve got the answer in simple terms.  When writing a sentence if you can replace the word with “bringing about” you would use “Effecting”. If you can replace it using the word “influencing” you would use ” Affecting”.  Therefore the sign is definitely incorrect.”

And from my dad…”The managers new plan was effecting a remarkable change in morale.  I was also affected by the plan in that the staff were all smiling at me again!”

So the rant stands!

And I would feel very put out if a sign company allowed it to be printed although I’m sure they would take no responsibility.