Fashion Victim

Fluoro fetish

by Cellobella on Saturday, July 19, 2014 · 1 comment

It all started back in summer when I noticed a fellow at our rowing club in a fluoro shirt.

Hard to miss him actually.

fluoro

We could see him clear across the river.

In summer there are a lot of boats on the river and when you’re in a single you’re hard to see.  So we thought… why don’t we make a zootie with a fluoro top.

As you do.

So we did.

Well we got it made and as we swanned around the club in our new fluoro zooties more and more people followed suit (zoot).

So then we thought… fluoro beanies.

And then I went to a fluoro themed party…

Fluoro Party

And then I thought well to get a bit of extra bit of fitness I’d try and ride to work once a week = more fluoro.

Now I own a lot of it:

  • Zootie
  • Beanie
  • Shell
  • Raincoat
  • 2 vests
  • Turtle shell
  • shin guards
  • socks
  • cap
  • tech shirt
  • hair bands
  • sports bra
  • kit bag

I just see fluoro and immediately think I have to buy it.

I suspect I may have to exercise some self restraint.

Maybe.

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You can take it with you

by Cellobella on Sunday, June 16, 2013 · 3 comments

So I’m driving back from rowing this morning behind a bus which has an ad for Just Cremations

Just cremations.

“No fuss” is the tag line and I thought THAT might be the best ever funeral ad I’ve ever seen.

I can imagine it appealing to a lot of people… especially tight-arses like me who can’t bear the thought of paying a stupid amount for a party I’m not going to see.

Or a coffin that’s going to be worn once and then destroyed – or maybe buried until it rots.

To me that is a ridiculous WASTE OF MONEY.

Family – please spend the money on something else.  Booze for the wake.  A holiday somewhere warm.  A new fridge.  Whatever, don’t spend money on a coffin.

(actually if you are buying a new fridge – just use the box)

Because coffins are STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE.

The cheapest coffin at Just Cremations is a Peel Basic at $1190 – does that include GST?

That will do for me – unless you can get something cheaper.

The most expensive over $11 grand.  That’s one way to take your money with you.

*boggling eyes*

Here’s a tip.  A cheap coffin does NOT mean you didn’t love the person you are putting in it.

Measure your love in other ways – not a frigging wooden (or chipboard) box.

(a small aqua box with a white ribbon – while I’m still alive – is a nice way for instance)

In my research for this post today I did come across another kind of funeral which sounds interesting – a natural burial.

Not that I want to be buried mind you, that film The Vanishing cured me of that.

I like the idea of a biodegradable burial though I wonder what they do if you have fake boobs (not that I have) – do you remove them?

Otherwise or that will be left is a bunch of bones and two silicone fillets…

I digress.

The point is – just get me the cheapest funeral on the menu.

 

In other news… and in an effort to stave off the impending funeral… my exercise this week has been “fair”.

  • Sunday – social row
  • Monday – ergs with the lovely Evelyn
  • Tuesday – training
  • Wednesday – day off
  • Thursday – more ergs with Evelyn
  • Friday – training
  • Saturday – social row

Next week I head to Karratha and Broome.  I hope they have a rowing machine at the Karratha International!

Update 2 – Promise I will be more interesting soon

by Cellobella on Saturday, May 11, 2013 · 1 comment

Crumbs it’s dull isn’t it – all this exercise posting… well interwebs sorry… but you did agree to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Well maybe not agree exactly – but you didn’t say no.

This week:

Sunday – social row in a quad
Monday – 3 x 10 min videos (arms with newly purchased weights, pilates and fatblaster)
Tuesday – Training row
Wednesday – nada
Thursday – 3 x 10 min videos (full body, butt workout, scupted arms)
Friday – nothing – very bad but I played bridge the night before and slept badly
Saturday – social row in an 8

So two days with nothing and no cycling although on the cycling front I did pick up a great bike rake for the car from a fellow rower who was looking to get it out of his boot! Win.

Slipping a bit on the old exercise front but next week is another week… Go me.

As far as the videos go I am finding more and more on the internet. Sometimes the person is just too thin and perky for me to cope with, but mostly I find them to be good and even though I say I’m only going to do one, I always get to the end and go… ooooh that looks good maybe I’ll just do one more.

So if you struggle with doing exercise maybe try one of the videos. You might surprise yourself.

Update on the first week

by Cellobella on Saturday, May 4, 2013 · 1 comment

Right for those who’ve just tuned in here is my plan:

  1. Cycle to rowing 1-2 times a week
  2. Row 3 or 4 times a week
  3. Do ten minute youtube exercise video on other days

So in the interest in engaging the interweb gods… here’s this week’s exercise:

  1. Sunday – race at Mettam Head Race (5 k race and about 5 k paddling – we came 3rd)
  2. Monday – SLACKED OFF – things weren’t looking good for The Plan
  3. Tuesday – rowing training
  4. Wednesday – 2×10-minute video (arms and yoga) Partly to make up for Monday
  5. Thursday – 1×10 minute video (legs)
  6. Friday – rowing training
  7. Saturday – rowing cancelled but I cycled to Nedlands and back for bridge game.

Overall – thank you.

Putting it out there working so far.

Also new bike (newer bike loaned to me by kind friends) with better gears working out well. Did I tell you I changed the inner tube by myself? Just me, an inner tube, a spoon and this video.

And tip from cyclist at work to ride down Princess Road rather than Stirling Hwy is great. No traffic lights, and fewer cars.

Still waiting for my fit and cut body.

Must stop eating chocolate peanuts.

Sorry? Is that the pizza arriving? Gotta go!

The fat bonus

by Cellobella on Sunday, April 28, 2013 · 2 comments

UWABC Masters Women Quad

First of all – we survived the race. I know you were wondering.

One crab, one almost crab, one collision, one stop and one fin later.

It was a beautiful day on the Canning River and I think we all felt great that we’d finished and not disgraced ourselves.

Next time we’ll be in zooties – those most unattractive garments – which, unless you are an Olympian – just don’t do much for the figure.

There will be no photos below head and shoulders whilst I am wearing a zootie. That’s what secret groups on facebook are for.

Anyway as discussed yesterday, there is some way to go to improve my fitness but that hasn’t stopped me invoking a “fat bonus” every time I make a food decision.

Do I really want that chocolate? Hey… I exercised this morning….

Hmmm that was delicious… seconds? Why not! I went rowing today.

Dessert? You don’t even need to ask.

Problem is I’ve spent my “fat bonus” two or three times.

And I suspect it isn’t that big a bonus anyway.

Sigh.

UPDATE: We came third in our class WE4X+ (out of 6). Yay.

If I put it online will that mean I do it?

by Cellobella on Saturday, April 27, 2013 · 1 comment

Sunrise from Matilda Bay

Ahhhhh see this is why I get up early in the morning on a Saturday to go rowing.

So beautiful.

And today I rode my bike. Well Evan’s bike but he’s got lots and the gears aren’t so great on this one so he doesn’t miss it (I hope).

I got up at 6am. And left the house around 6.15 with my brand new Moon lights on and the wind on my face.

Well there wasn’t much wind, it was the speed of my pedalling.

(that was a little joke)

It took me about 35 minutes to get to the UWA Boatshed and I was surprised to see so many cars in the carpark.

Damn it! I thought I’d missed rowing altogether. That everyone had showed up and gone out, locking the shed behind them.

I checked my phone and it was 6.50. Yay. So I took the shot above.

Coming back was a bit more of a struggle.

Scary too. People in their big 4WDs and trucks!!! A truck beeped at me as I wobbled up the last hill and scared me into wobbling more. Yikes.

Also I was tired.

But I imagined my cut body. Fit from riding to rowing and rowing and riding from rowing. This will get easier each time I do it I said to myself as I reached the crest of the last hill.

Anyway this is my plan – and I’m hoping by declaring my hand on the interwebs Ii will be honour bound to follow true.

(even though this has never worked in the past… you never know)

So I row 3 or 4 times a week.

I will ride to rowing 1 or 2 times a week.

And on the days inbetween I’m going to make sure I at least do one ten-minute video from PopSugar.

Now how hard can that be?

*Famous last words*

Tips for clothes sales assistants

by Cellobella on Wednesday, February 6, 2013

The scenario:  I pop into a major department store on my way home in order to spend my birthday and Christmas vouchers.  I’m looking for a pencil skirt so I can recreate the “Newsroom” look. Second from left.

Photo from HBO's Newsroom
Photo from HBO’s Newsroom

It’s the end of the day.  I’m not feeling uber-sexy – no make up, dowdy dress – but I am prepared to spend the cashola.

I flick through the selection in the Country Road section – slim pickings – and pull out a skirt.

Sales assistant bubbles up to me.   Early 20s.  Good looking young man with enthusiasm to burn.

“Oh you know what looks GREAT with that skirt…. this top!”

He pulls out a bright red and blue silky number… well probably polyester but you get the picture.

Maybe I looked a little doubtful.

Maybe he panicked.

Maybe he was trying to relate to someone twice his age.

At this point my tip is… STOP TALKING… because the next thing to come out of his mouth was:

“You know I got my mother to buy this and she looks great.  She always gets comments…”

*cough* *splutter*

Now I don’t care how old I look or how young he is, or in fact how young and sexy his mother is – here’s the thing – NO ONE buying clothes wants to think of themselves as a mother*.

Or, more to the point,  in the same age bracket as the mother of a sales assistant.

DON’T MENTION THE WAR PEOPLE!**

It’s bad enough that they put “fat” mirrors in the changing room***, without being made to feel as unsexy and old as “someone’s mother”.

Needless to say I didn’t try the top on and I didn’t buy the skirt.

 

 

*Possible exception if you are buying maternity clothes

**The war against age.

***Also a stupid idea if you want to sell clothes

 

Out of the habit

by Cellobella on Thursday, December 27, 2012 · 4 comments

Christmas Dinner

Is Christmas really over?

I’m out of the habit of blogging regularly and finding it hard to get inspiration… so I thought I’d do that old trick of just typing away – stream of consciousness like – and see what happens.

I love hosting Christmas but I also love my house back to normal the day after Christmas after all the empties have been taken out to the recycling and the dishes finally done, extra tables hidden away and the crunchy floor cleaned.

In the days since we’ve been chilling out the back lolling on the couches under the patio we built last year, occasionally jumping in the pool to bring down the core body temp (it is over 40 every day for the next four), lighting the candles in the evening and enjoying the odd glass of wine.

It’s been lovely having my brother and his family to stay too.  Their little one is uber-cute.  Just the cutest 3-year-old ever.  And even though I know I’m going to be approached again and again to play animal matches, or go for a swim, or watch the spelling game stars I don’t care because she is so adorable.

They’ve gone down south for a few days now and the house seems strangely empty.

This year we did a couple of things to encourage “groupness”.

Groupness is a term I picked up from a facilitation course this year.  Basically when you have a new grouping of people it’s important to get them to interact quickly and share.  Sharing is more likely if the peeps feel part of a group.

Groupness can be created in any number of ways…

For example… name tags… not really appropriate for family dinner…

This year we did souvenir holiday teeshirts designed by my artist brother

Me modelling the holiday tee

And a dancing video.

If you’ve seen Where the Hell is Matt? you will know the inspiration.

I asked my invited guests and extended family that weren’t coming to the evening to send in snippets of video of themselves so that I could mash them into a video to play on the night.

That way peeps who couldn’t come would still be part of the group… and those who were there would feel part of the group – having gone through the shared experience (pain and humiliation?) of dancing in public.

I guess I’m an extrovert because I loved doing the dancing videos, others felt it wasn’t such a cool thing, but everyone sent something in.

Unfortunately I ran out of time but I delegated (another management technique) to my niece (not the 3-year old) and the video was lovely.

Even the too-cool-for-school teens admitted it was fun in the end and I think – should I ask them to participate in one of my crazy groupness exercises next time – they might find it easier to say yes, lets!

UPDATE: Here is the link to the video. :)

OMG.  I’m at the end of a post and I had something to say after all.

Maybe the habit is stronger than I thought…

Contact lenses REALLY hurt

by Cellobella on Thursday, September 6, 2012

Contact lenses of course


I don’t consider myself a wimp.

Indeed I have given birth to two children.

Non-wimpdon confirmed.

But damn if I can get the hang of contact lenses.

I ordered them because my dear husband says I will go from a 6 to a “hard 8″ if I don’t wear glasses and who doesn’t want to be a hard 8?

So yes. Vanity.

But apparently I’m too old for my eyes to “truly cope” with multifocals and so really I can only get contacts to go out socially.

Which is fine, except that now that I have them I kind of want to be a hard 8 all day every day.

Well. Who wouldn’t?

Day 1: It takes me 20 minutes to get the right eye in. I try for 15 minutes to get the left eye in before giving up and racing for the train. The left eye pops in when I get to the very well lit bathroom at work, but not before someone asks if I’m okay after seeing my red and bloodshot teary eyes.

Day 2: Practice makes perfect they say. It takes me 20 minutes again to get the right eye in, and once again I don’t have time for the slippery little sucker to get in the left eye so I wait til I get to work and spend a further 10 minutes chasing a little bit of see-through silicon around the bathroom.

About 2pm I’m back in the bathroom poking myself in the eye to get the wretched things out. I don’t ever find the left eye lens. And now I’m wondering if I got it in.

Day 3: Bugger it I need a day off. But I do get the optometrist to check my eye just in case the left lens is still in my eye somewhere.

She explains that really, at my age (does she have to keep saying that?!) all these are good for is reading menus at restaurants when you go out… They are not for close work, she says.

It’s only women who get these lenses, she says, the men can’t be bothered.

As I said, vanity.

So I will be leaving an extra hour to get ready next time I go out.

And I suspect the 30 pairs of dailies that I’ve bought will last a long time.

Just saying.

Come to me my precious

by Cellobella on Thursday, August 16, 2012

I’ve decided I’m a grown up and therefore allowed grown-up (read expensive) make up.

The last lot I bought lasted a year and a bit and would have lasted longer but a certain teenage daughter decided it was really nice and used it.  Grrr.

So this week I ordered some more, this time direct from the States.

Now I would have bought it locally but the pricing in Australia is ridiculous.  Foundation for example… US$30-50 or AUS$70-90.

I do like going to a beautician and being “fitted” for my makeup – finding exactly the right shade and last year I bought locally.

But that is just price gouging.

So why such a mark up?

The US dollar is worth less than the Australian dollar at the moment – it should be cheaper.

Add some for freight maybe… that wouldn’t be more than a couple of dollars for each item max.

And I’d be happy to pay that.

Luxury tax?  Apparently not.

No it seems we are charged nearly 40% more for our makeup because we are willing to pay it.

Well I’m not.

Now the makeup I wanted (and this is the same with many other brands) does have an online presence in Australia, which has the same mark up as the shops.

The US website does not ship directly to Australia.

How to shop in the US when they don’t ship to Australia directly

I set up a redirect address in the States through a US Shipping company. Just search for “US shipping only websites”.

Then I ordered my make up on the US site and sent it to my new US address.

When it gets there, I will get an email asking me to instruct them on where it goes from there.

Then I pay the freight to Australia.

The freight will be about $28 which is less than the mark up on one foundation.

I hate the fact that I can’t go down to a local business and support them, but if I do, well I will just be supporting an absolute rort which has gone on too long.

And now I have a new hobby… tracking my makeup as it makes its way to me…

I’ll let you know if/when it gets here.

The journey so far

UPDATE:

Getting excited now

Furthur Update:
It arrived. And I love it. And I saved 41.55% approximately by shopping online.