A green moment in Melbourne

Well the conference is over and I’m sitting in Qantas Club checking my emails and blogging of course. QC membership is the silver lining to Groover’s continual trips to Karratha… and thanks to the Orchid Hunter, I’ve been upgraded. And kids, I’m travelling UPSTAIRS! I know…

Anyway I thought while I’m here I’d share with you a favourite moment in Melbourne. We were driving through Eaglemont and came across this weird topiary… at least I thought it was a topiary… rather odd shape but I thought maybe an eccentric English fellow might live there… or maybe someone from Vancouver eh? The two places where I’ve noticed topairy the most.

But no.
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It was a street sign.

Love it.

An uncomfortable moment with gorillas

I went to the Melbourne Zoo yesterday. My daughter was very keen to see the Orang enclosure and compare Perth’s with Melbourne… she loyally prefers Perth but does concede Melbourne has some good points.

We went to see the gorillas. I was quite keen never having seen a gorilla “in the flesh” so to speak. There was quite a lot of people crowding the viewing area but I managed to get a vantage point and could see them in action. I couldn’t stay.

I was so uncomfortable. They are just too like us. I felt I was looking at inmates. It was horrible.
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Perhaps it was because I’d seen the day before an episode of “The Mighty Boosh” – one of the main characters is a gorilla… I don’t know. I just know that I didn’t like it and had to leave. Yes even reading the daily tabloid was preferable.

And after that – the whole experience was somehow lessened.

Freedom through eye-wear

Still on public transport in Melbourne – I’ve caught a train and a tram now – it occurs to me that society wouldn’t function as well if it wasn’t for sunglasses. Sunglasses, especially those with reflective lenses, allow you to examine your fellow passengers without feeling self conscious or rude.

Well perhaps a little self conscious…

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Could you be looking at me?

Tampon on the train

I’m travelling on a Melbourne train – I’m in Melbourne this week with my daughter – and I see a tampon on the floor. Where had it come from? Was it the girl sitting with her ipod in staring out the window… maybe she’s too self conscious to pick it up… Was it the boy who maybe picked up his sister’s backpack which had a hole in the bottom and it fell out and he hasn’t even noticed it falling to the floor…

How long has it been there? How many stops has it travelled?

We reach Parliament and the girl gets up and kicks it under my chair.

Is it a sign? I have cursed you with the lone tampon! Forever bloodless shall ye be. Too late buddy – I’ve already been fixed. Ironic it has landed under my chair.
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And yet I feel uncomfortable. People might think it is mine. This pristine white plastic wrapped object which screams its presence from the floor. I laugh and say loudly “Hey a tampon on the train!”

We get up to leave at Flinders Street station. We leave the tampon on the floor. Who are we to interrupt its journey. It’s escaped from its pale blue or pink box and sought freedom. Where will it end up? Perhaps all the way to Epping. Perhaps it will be kicked out onto the platform and onto another train. Maybe some poor desperate girl will see it and thank the universe for rescuing her from an awkward dilemma hopefully in time…

Good luck little friend, and may you live in wholesome fulfillment.