Tag Archives: Relationships

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Making friends

Key WestIt’s not easy making friends at a new school, even if you know some of the girls already.

My daughter has recently moved from a small school with just five girls to a big girls’ school with 56 girls in her year, and she’s finding it surprisingly hard to make friends.

She’s generally a confident little soul but I think all the “newness” is a bit overwhelming. Also I imagine she had the idea that the gang of 5 would stick together. That hasn’t been the case. The other girls seem to have hooked up faster than she has and she feels left out, and a little lost, maybe even betrayed.

But what can you do as a parent?

One night last week she was inconsolable. 🙁

I offered to have new friends (or old) over for a play. I suggested she listen more to new acquaintences to see if they had some things in common. I even asked her to consider chatting to her teacher – also new – who might have some ideas.
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On the train to work I met a colleague who had had a daughter go to the same school. She suggested I contact the principal of the junior school and see if she had any ideas but I hesitated.

I don’t want to necessarily rescue Dippity – I mean, this could be an important life lesson for her – but I don’t want her to be miserable at school either! (She of course wants me to rescue her)

Today she came home with the crumbs of new friendships. One girl had mentioned that she liked Avatar – Dippity LOVES Avatar, and she had fun with another girl during sport. She seemed happier and more like my darling Dippity.

So what’s your advice?

Hang back and be there for cuddles at the end of a disappointing day? Or is there something proactive I can do?

Giving up

Groover and I had a row over the pool.  I was frustrated as it feels like everything outside the four walls and a lot of within the walls seems to be my responsibility and I’ve had enough.

To be fair I’m extremely tired.  Have to face a full day at work tomorrow being nice to people all day and no end in sight. Don’t even talk to me about my preparation for my job interview Monday week, for the job I’m doing now.

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Do I ring the pool shop or go straight to RSVP?

Who, being loved, is poor? – Oscar Wilde

Hypothetical – when meeting the extended family and friends of one’s beloved for the first time – who is being tested?

Is it you – the new girlfriend or boyfriend – are you being judged worthy or not of the brother/sister/mother/father/son/daughter/friend – or is it them?

On the one hand you might suppose the extended family and friends have some influence over how your beloved feels or what they might do… but in reality I would like to humbly suggest that their influence pales to nothing compared to love.
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In fact I think it is “them” who be judged. Can you bear to have “them” as your in-laws and friends? Have your feelings changed because of “them” – those who your beloved likes to call his/her mates? What does your beloved’s relationship with his/her family/friends say about your beloved?

Lets be honest – “they” would be lucky to know you. And if your beloved’s happy – who are they to judge!