Hypothetical – when meeting the extended family and friends of one’s beloved for the first time – who is being tested?
Is it you – the new girlfriend or boyfriend – are you being judged worthy or not of the brother/sister/mother/father/son/daughter/friend – or is it them?
On the one hand you might suppose the extended family and friends have some influence over how your beloved feels or what they might do… but in reality I would like to humbly suggest that their influence pales to nothing compared to love.
In fact I think it is “them” who be judged. Can you bear to have “them” as your in-laws and friends? Have your feelings changed because of “them” – those who your beloved likes to call his/her mates? What does your beloved’s relationship with his/her family/friends say about your beloved?
Lets be honest – “they” would be lucky to know you. And if your beloved’s happy – who are they to judge!
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Had to comment on that one – seemed pertinent!
In my case I was very happy to meet ‘them’ although there seemed to be so many of you. Tired by the end but pleased with my visit. I’ve found it very rare in my life to relate so easily to a group of friends and family – most gatherings of strangers I barely even open my mouth let alone comfortably chat to all and sundry. Feel like we all inhabit the same planet and it’s a comforting thought
PS. Thanks for the pic of M – it’s a great one.
What do you do with a father-in-law who turned out to be racist, homophobic, greedy, selfish and took patriachy to new levels? You shut up for the sake of the mother-in-law. She died last September aged 93 and had bloomed in the 10 years of widowhood.
Lara – Does that mean we passed inspection?!
Jahteh – yeah – that is tough.
CB
xx
Topical for me
When the family is your kids, the gf/bf is being judged. Not by the kids (well they are, but that’s not the point) it’s how they interact with the kids. Also you are being judged as to how you interact with your own too.
That particular introduction aside, I think it’s a bit of everything: checking out and being checked out.
I written and re-written my reply and I can’t decide where I stand. Friends and family are important, but conflicts/issues with the new ones you acquire through your beloved can be big stumbling blocks.
In then end if you are happy together, that should be enough for the rest of them.