The bus nazi

On Wednesday I caught the bus from Esperance to Kalgoorlie… it was quite the experience.

It’s pretty cheap – only $52 for a five hour ride through the flat brown land into the desert.

The bus was about five minutes late and when the driver pulled up he jumped out, flung open the luggage compartment and started shouting.

“You!  Are you going to Kalgoorlie?  Put your luggage in here now!”

Yes the soup nazi’s cousin was in charge of the bus.

“Make sure you sit in the seat you’ve been allocated!”

“Noone is allowed to sit in the back seat… you hear that kids.”

“Don’t put your feet on the seats!”

My allocated seat was right at the front of the bus and as we drove out of Esperance I overheard him talking to the office in Kalgoorlie.

Apparently he’d picked up the bus to find the television broken and that the back seats had been urinated on.


No wonder he was a little grumpy, I actually started feeling a bit sorry for him.

After all he was trying to do his best.

I spent a lot of the first part of the journey on the phone – hey – I was working and when we got to the first stop he turned to me and said:  “Are you going to be on that phone the whole way?  Well move back then.”

I moved back.

He was a short man with a loud voice, I wasn’t going to argue.

The bus was pretty empty and there was lots of choice.

When we got to Norseman I got myself a coffee and shared a picnic table with a truckie called Jeff.

He was heading up to visit a prospector mate in Kalgoorlie.

We had a nice chat but soon the bus nazi was agitating for us all to get back on the bus.

I threw the rest of my coffee out and clambered back on.

All in all the journey was quite good.

The seats comfortable (even if some of them urine soaked) and with spare seats abounding, plenty of room to spread out.

The movies were woeful.

Still if you’ve got a good book and a phone – no problem.

And if talking on the phone irritates the driver at least it doesn’t interfere with the navigation systems.