Category Archives: Modern Life

The Pillow Wall: What they don’t tell you about falling pregnant

A number of people I know are pregnant at the moment and they’ve reached that happy stage of the third trimester where everything is oh so slightly uncomfortable, including sleep.

Slowly over the months they have been collecting pillows one by one. Arranging one behind their back, one between their thighs, one under the belly – now full and heavy – until it takes at least ten minutes to settle in the right spot – cocooned on what was once Passion Central and is now divided by… The Pillow Wall.

pillow wall

It’s in fact remarkably comfortable as I discovered when posing for this photograph to illustrate my point, but does tend to exclude the non-pregnant other.

My friend the other night complained bitterly that night after night he was slowly edged to the side of the bed until now his head rests on the bedside table and it is only by the most precarious of balancing acts that he sleeps – and he’s got six weeks to go!

(How is it that men hijack the most female of journeys? Once again – it’s all about them!)
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He was slightly hysterical – not coping with the musical experience that was Miss Saigon.

In fact, just after the big chorus girl number his girlfriend got up and left rather quickly during the applause as if she was in the midst of a medical emergency. A minute later, my friend, acting all worried and concerned, followed her out. It was a performance that left us gasping with laughter.

The conversation at interval though did take me back nearly 11 years to my last pregnancy and my pillow wall.

Did you have one?
PS: An historical note. The pyjama pants I’m wearing in the photo were bought for me to wear in hospital the day Dippity was born. Groover had learned from Hugamuga’s birth, when he bought me the foulest, most unattractive, nasty nighties – a bit like surgical gowns without the gap in the back – to TMATP! The tee-shirt we bought on our honeymoon when we visited Eurodisney – which puts it at circa 1992.

PPS: TMATP=Throw Money At The Problem

An awkward conversation

Watching this gem from Servant of Chaos:

Me: Laughing at video

Dipp: Can I see mum?

Me: Um yes.

Dipp after watching final ad: I don’t get it. What is that?

Me: It’s a vibrator.
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Dipp: A what?

Me: It’s used by women to feel good.

Dipp: ???

Me: Er… um… it’s a sex toy.

Dipp: …

Me to myself: Hmmm that went well…?

Making friends

Key WestIt’s not easy making friends at a new school, even if you know some of the girls already.

My daughter has recently moved from a small school with just five girls to a big girls’ school with 56 girls in her year, and she’s finding it surprisingly hard to make friends.

She’s generally a confident little soul but I think all the “newness” is a bit overwhelming. Also I imagine she had the idea that the gang of 5 would stick together. That hasn’t been the case. The other girls seem to have hooked up faster than she has and she feels left out, and a little lost, maybe even betrayed.

But what can you do as a parent?

One night last week she was inconsolable. 🙁

I offered to have new friends (or old) over for a play. I suggested she listen more to new acquaintences to see if they had some things in common. I even asked her to consider chatting to her teacher – also new – who might have some ideas.
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On the train to work I met a colleague who had had a daughter go to the same school. She suggested I contact the principal of the junior school and see if she had any ideas but I hesitated.

I don’t want to necessarily rescue Dippity – I mean, this could be an important life lesson for her – but I don’t want her to be miserable at school either! (She of course wants me to rescue her)

Today she came home with the crumbs of new friendships. One girl had mentioned that she liked Avatar – Dippity LOVES Avatar, and she had fun with another girl during sport. She seemed happier and more like my darling Dippity.

So what’s your advice?

Hang back and be there for cuddles at the end of a disappointing day? Or is there something proactive I can do?

Knowledge and Wisdom

Groover surprised me with this gem today as we flew back from Karratha – he’d heard it on a podcast:

Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad.

Nice.

The Burrup

So Karratha? I hear you ask. Of course! Where else would your lover take you for Valentine’s Day but a fairly ordinary motel in one of the fastest growing towns in the north west. It was hot. You forgot for a while as you listened to the hum and rattle of the massive air conditioning unit while drifting off to sleep…
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But the moment you stepped out the door – bam – it hits you like a furnace.

We were both there for work and given Groover’s previous descriptions I anticipated the worst, but you know, I kinda liked it. I love the outback dirt, the spinifex, the red hot rocks of the Burrup.

We were cyclone watching and tonight it is still heading straight for Port Hedland. Maybe Sunday.

All we can do – like a pregnant woman – is wait.

And hope for the best.

The Apology

ABC News - members of the stolen generation listen to Rudd's apologyDriving to the airport today I asked the taxi driver to turn on the radio so I could hear Kevin Rudd apologise to the Stolen Generations.

I was completely moved to tears. It felt to me like a new dawn, a new beginning and I felt privileged to be alive and through listening, witness to this moment.

That’s the reason why men cialis shipping with low levels of zinc in body, and gingko, which needs more studies to back up its certainty of treating erectile dysfunction. Physical tests might include greyandgrey.com buy viagra online blood tests for checking your testosterone levels, blood sugar (for diabetes level), and cholesterol level; blood pressure (BP) reading is constantly 140/90 and above. It is preferred by free viagra samples almost all the impotence treatment options that you may want. We eat what we like or keep eating things without purchase generic levitra thinking that consuming some product may lead to sexual dysfunction in case of a woman where she loses the interest for sex and also become incapable to conceive and have children. The other day a friend of mine was describing a speech given at the opening of the Festival – so this story is third hand. She said he told the story of a painting – I think done by the Carrolup artists – a painting of footsteps. He asked the significance of the painting which to his eye – didn’t look that exciting – and was told that the footprints were those of children taken away. The parents fenced off the footprints in the sand made by their children as that was the last tangible thing they had to hold on to.

I don’t know if that’s a true story – but it sounds true – heart breakingly true – and that’s why today is so important for us all.

Swimming upstream against fussy eaters

Groover would say it’s pearls before swine:

Teriyaki Salmon

Of course my little fussbudgets – though professing to be “starving half to death” – weren’t interested in eating it. And he had presented it so beautifully.

Sure, he might do some bad things, but overall he’s a pretty good egg (to keep the foodie theme going). You might say he’s E for Excellent. 🙂

Speaking of which… Babyamore (Trish) nominated my blog as E for Excellent. Thanks Trish. You made my day!

excellent blog

I’d like to pass on this award to some faves of mine: Karen Cheng, h&b, Are Don and Carol Coming?, Dipping into the Blogpond, A Roaming Aussie Mum, Reading Circles, Firstperson Thirdcat, Planning with Kids, Magneto Bold Too, The Beer Card and Three Ring Circus.

Update: I just showed my list to Groover who said:

I like all these acronyms people use for their partners… DH and MPS etc [Kelley what does MPS mean? – cb] – why can’t I have an acronym?
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Because your acronym would be as long as your handle.

?

TFOBBTIFTSW*

*The Fat Old Bald Bastard That I’m Forced To Sleep With.

😉
He likes a bit of mean…

Oh and for those of you who caught the salmon reference in the title – here’s a little song: (thanks to Feline for the tip)

Typical!

I’m due to fly to Karratha on Wednesday and guess what? It looks likely that a cyclone is also due to “fly in”.

Meh.
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Devastation after Cyclone George

Petrichorically speaking…

A withered leafIt’s hot in Perth today. Sticky, muggy, please will you just rain and get it over with, kind of hot. And we don’t have air-conditioning except for the bedroom and my computer where I have been working from home at is not in the bedroom.

I’m at home because my daughter, due to start school today at a brand new school, is sick. Was sick. Was sick with fear I think and worked herself into a knot creating a fever, headache and vomiting. She didn’t sleep last night with these symptoms and so today, reluctantly, I let her stay home.

Now that she’s better, she agrees that she probably was a little nervous.

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Anyway she’s going tomorrow and in bed early tonight.

Ah thunderstorms! But they are not making things any cooler. A few spots of rain have fallen and dried before they hit the ground, baking hot after a week of stinking +35C days. (hence my title – thanks to Loz)

How to know if you’re a good mother

Boy in a backpackWhen I was a first-time mum at home with a new bub I was adrift. I’d gone from a full-time full-on job with lots of contact with other people to – well – nothing. I was the first of my set to have a baby, my husband worked full time, I didn’t have a lot of contact with my neighbours. I was, in short, lonely.

How lonely?

I went to the health nurse every week, religiously. Even though my baby was perfectly healthy. Even though I had no problems looking after him, the breastfeeding happened.

I only stopped when she kindly said one day “You know, you don’t have to come every week. You’re doing a good job.”

That day as I walked back home pushing my son in his stroller, I reflected on how dependant I’d become on this regular weekly outing. How much I needed an independent witness to my motherhood. How much I needed that witness to tell me I was doing a good job.
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I hadn’t had any contact with babies before apart from fleeting glimpses of other people’s babes. I wasn’t the maternal type. I didn’t yearn to pick up and cuddle them. I was the type of person who handed the baby back or on at the earliest opportunity and now here I was the 24/7 carer of this little human unit.

With no frame of reference – how was I to know if he was okay? If I was okay? If I was a good mother?

A fine womanI owe this child nurse a great deal.

Happily last year I met her again. She’s retired now. I wished I’d had my little baby with me to show her that he survived into teenagerhood. But of course there was no need. She had enough faith in me to know he’d be okay.

Back to school? Not quite.

I’ve been reading (with some envy it must be said) blogs over east who describe lovingly how their children have enjoyed their first day back at school (or not) and how empty the house feels.

My house is not empty.

Nor does there seem to much looking forward to next week. Here’s their reaction when I asked them how they felt about the new term starting:

In the pool

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In the pool

I think though that they secretly can’t wait for school to start. They are missing their friends and thanks to my cunning strategy of not organising any activities for the last two weeks of the holidays – VERY BORED.

Hehe.