Category Archives: Personal

Fashion Victim

So hot and so grey

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It’s so hot.

So hot I can’t think, I can’t breathe.

The sweat pools under my breasts, slides over my stomach and drops on my thighs as I type, I’m sticking to the leather chair.

I can’t bear the thought of organising dinner, of even thinking about dinner, which might be a good thing except for the two teenagers who are hungry after their first day back at school.

I’m wearing a gossimer thin sarong tied in a knot above my breasts – it’s too hot even for cloth on my shoulders, for a bra.  And I’m wearing undies.

Frankly I feel over-dressed but my children became unexpectedly prudish about a mother cooking in the nude.

“Is that er… even hygenic?”

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It’s so grey.

Ever since I read Going Grey last year, I’ve been on the road to letting my hair grow out, that’s partly why I got the short hair cut, but you know… I just don’t think I’m ready.

Bad enough that I need to be exercising more, controlling my intake more (note how I didn’t say the d-word), that I need to increase my reading glasses strength… I’m only 42 for crying out loud – I’m not ready.

I was watching Oprah last night – Mum taped the program and saved it for me to watch – and it was all about embracing your age – but none of the stars, guests that she interviewed had grey hair.  Not even any of the “real people” had grey hair – except for one sad grandmother who has suffered from depression ever since her kids left home.

I don’t want to be in the sad camp!

So I’m going to dye my hair again.  Get back on that treadmill of dyeing and roots and throwing money at the problem.

I’ll let you know how I go on Saturday.

Fashion Victim

Guitar zero

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Enough said. New Year’s Eve 2009.

Dippity, Hugamuga, Introspection, Parenting

No going back

6 Comments

How did I look after my two kids when they were little?

Yesterday, we picked up the younger cousins (4 & 3) for a sleepover.  My sister-in-law needed some free time to pack as they are moving house soon.

The big cousins are fantastic with them.  Hide and seek, mudworld, swimming, they are like built-in au pairs who look after the two littlies with good grace and humour.

Within an hour of getting home yesterday, in the middle of the first game of hide and seek though, the 3 year old started crying, holding her neck.

There was no blood but she was in a lot of pain and couldn’t be comforted.

We all packed into the car and went to see the doctor who prescribed Painstop and thought she must have strained her neck, like whiplash.

It did put a damper on things but Dippity remembered the chocolate icecream we’d bought and the Princesses DVD and 3 decided that she wanted to stay on the sleepover!

Dippity was brilliant at cuddling her and distracting her from the pain.  Brilliant.

Of course I rang her mum to let her know of the drama but that 3 seemed okay if sore.

The rule with children is “never wake a sleeping child”, we all know that, but because of the suspected head injury the doctor advised that we should. 
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So we did, and she cried, so we gave her some more medicine and took her for a wee and she went back to sleep.

In the morning she was fine.  Her neck still stiff and putting a tee-shirt on and off painful, but smiling and wanting to go for a swim.

(We rang mum to tell her she was better, and mum reported a lovely sleep-in)

Today we’ve had mudworld, a swim, a tv show and now they are walking to the DVD library for a movie (we’re hoping it will tire them out a bit).

I’ve got 20 minutes to write this and reflect, maybe finish a cup of tea.

You know, I don’t think I could look after little ones again full-time.  They are exhausting!  Little balls of never-ending energy.  

I’d forgotton how you become the entertainment machine – always thinking ahead to the next activity, the next snack, the next meal.

It makes me appreciate my teenagers.  Sure, sometimes you only get the odd grunt out of them but they are self sufficient.

And I especially appreciate how good they are with their small cousins.

Fashion Victim

A Lady Di moment

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One of the most famous images of Lady Di – before she married Chuck – was the picture of her outside the daycare centre with the see-through skirt. Remember that?

Well I discovered that when I walk in sunlight the same thing happens to my dress.

Yes that dress in the photo.

I made it over the Christmas break and mostly I’m quite happy with it, you know apart from the see-through bit.

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Sorry Ken, told you you might be in for a disappointment. 🙂

Ahhhh the end of 2008.  I go into the new year sitting by a backyard pool, eating and drinking with friends, followed by Guitar Hero World Tour.

Rock on 2009!

Fashion Victim, Work

How I get to work

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The last thing I do before leaving home every morning is fill my coffee cup for the drive to work.

I love my coffee machine.  If Groover and I ever split up I think custody of the coffee machine might be a contentious issue.

And today I’m back at work.

I’m not unhappy about it. It’s going to be 38C today and I get to sit in air-conditioning ALL day.

I’m wearing a dress I made over the Christmas break from material my friend and colleague gave me – she’s the one I did sewing lessons with.

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It’s a bit short though. I think I’m going to add a border to the base of it.

Photo will come soon.

It’s kind of nice being at work over the Christmas break – a relaxed pace and because everyone is on holidays – no annoying phone calls!

Oh and while I have you – check out these photos of my recent lunch with The Food Pornographer. She takes such delicious photos – mine were rubbish!

Yes of course you have to take photos of food when you’re with TFP!

Groover, Introspection

We are all in the gutter

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A guest post from Groover:

It was Oscar Wilde who penned the line, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”.

It’s a favourite of mine, along with many other Wilde quotes, but to me it perfectly describes the principle that it is not circumstance that defines us, but our attitude and response to those circumstances.

I came across this on my way to work today. I thought that it was a discarded bouquet of flowers but on further inspection it turned out to be the perfect embodiment of my attitude to life from this moment on.

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We may all be economically “in the gutter” but from now on, I’m this plant.

Living full-out in the moment, shouting at the world that this maybe a gutter but look at me I’m giving life a red-hot go and doing what I do best.

Today I paused and noticed the flowers. They taught me a valuable lesson.

Introspection

Cheery Christmas

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Yesterday Santa came to work to wish me a merry Christmas.

I had been a VERY good girl indeed and was given a bottle of Amberley Shiraz.

I felt like drinking it straight-away but that isn’t the behaviour of a very good girl is it?

*warning… rant ahead.

This Christmas has been stressful.  I find myself crying on the way to work for no good reason.  Well apart from the obvious ones. 

You know, working full time while trying to get the house and garden in some kind of order for Christmas day and do my Christmas shopping.

It would have all been a lot less stressful if I was an organised person and did all that preparation stuff weeks ago.

Of course no one else cares what the house and garden looks like so why I bother trying to get anyone else to help is beyond me.

So here’s my day yesterday.

Got up early to start work early enough to enable me to leave early to do some Christmas shopping.

Left at 3 and went shopping for table decorations, crackers and the like.

Got home at 6, put on a load of laundry and had dinner (cooked by Groover).

Cleaned up after dinner.

Folded 5 loads of washing. (washed in part by Dippity)

Spent two hours trimming and weeding and sweeping the jungle next to the pool.
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Went to bed.

This morning I woke at six with a blinding headache.  Took two paracetomol.  Went to work.

And I’ve been crying all morning.

I can’t work out why.  I’m not normally this much of a mess.

And it’s pressure I am applying to myself. 

As I said, the rest of my family don’t care that the pool is a mess so why am I beating myself up about it.  Why add it to the impossibly long list of crap I have to do before Christmas?

Why not just cut myself a break?

I guess the fact is that I am not superhuman.  I can’t work full time and organise the house and dinner for 16 people, and go to our regular Christmas eve party and organise Christmas presents in three days.

It’s not like I’m even doing the cooking!  Groover is (apart from a salad) and we’re getting everyone to bring food.

So you know what?

I’m letting go trying to be perfect.  If presents aren’t bought, if there’s a big pile of clippings next to the pool, if the house is a tip, well… hey I’m human.

A normal, disorganised, but hopefully not teary person.

Merry Christmas.

PS:  Of course I won’t really let go.  I’ll beat myself up for being a bad mother, a lousy housekeeper, a lazy gardener, a stressed-out hostess and somehow, it will all come together.

Just book me in to the funny farm in January.

Groover, Introspection

What retirement could be

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I took this photo on our normal Saturday morning Cottesloe walk which is fast becoming a tradition for Groover and me.

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It’s kind of a scary and sweet thought mixed together…

Introspection, Relationships, Work

Not acting anymore

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Isn’t it interesting that when you let go of something, the something happens!

I’ve been appointed to the job I’ve been doing for the last year (after acting for two years in a similar position the years before).

My boss wrote a lovely affirming email and sent it to my colleagues and today has been very pleasant getting lots of kind supportive emails congratulating me.

The thing is about a month ago I decided that I didn’t care anymore. 

The acting thing, which used to frustrate me, I turned around in my brain as my “get-out-of-jail-free” card. 

You know, if it all got too much I could say “I want to go back to my old job” and walk away.

I dropped the “acting” from my signature.  I figured that I was actually doing the job.  It had been over six months.

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And then I was appointed.

It occurred to me that I did the same thing way back in 1992 when I was living with Groover in Subiaco.  (that’s where today’s photo comes in *wink*)

We’d been going out for a couple of years and it seemed to me that he was “the one” but as yet he had not raised the subject of marriage or future commitment.

Again, I decided to turn that into a positive.  My get-out-of-jail-free card again!

The next month he came back from a holiday with his mates and proposed.

A life lesson learned?

What else can I apply it do…

Introspection, Orchids

Stopping to smell the flowers

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Not that south west orchids smell – well not that I know of – but it occured to me today that I haven’t seen even one orchid in the wild this year.

In fact at all.

And I love these little treasures of the bush.

It makes me feel good to find them.  Feel good to know that they are there.

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Are these the indicators that tell you your life is out of balance?

Maybe it’s the holiday season or maybe it’s Groover’s change in work.  His change becoming my change?

Or at least forcing me to reassess my life.

What are the indicators in your life?