Category Archives: Modern Life

Health

That’s Mrs Blobby to you!

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SandshoesIt has come I’m afraid to look closely in the mirror (not not the one that makes you look thin girl – and we all have one of them) and assess the fitness situation.

And maybe the weight situation.

I’ve been a blobby lardy arse for more than a year now and it shows.

My faithful black pants that have been with me through thick and thin are now too small. That’s a bad sign. I’m a d-cup. And while Groover seems to appreciate them – that is also a bad sign.

But you know I could put up with that.

What I can’t have, simply can. not. have, is Groover being the fit and healthy one in the relationship.

The “my-body-is-a-temple-that’s-temple-of-doom-people” Groover. Who had the same pair of running shoes for 15 years before they wore out. Who doesn’t eat fruit. Or salad.

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He’s been eating fruit for breakfast.

And having seconds of salad at dinner.

And this evening – he asked if I’d like to go walking with him?!

Well! The nerve of this upstart fit person!!

Who is he, to condescend to ask me, a person who has done three detoxes and joined several gyms (for a while), to go walking. Pfft!

But you know, I think I might.

Random

Sunday chicken facts

chookA dip into “World’s Best Trivia” by Oliver Roydhouse had me spluttering my tea over the monitor this evening…

Perhaps you’ve had a roast chook for dinner tonight?

Did you know that the longest recorded chicken flight was by a headless chook?

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But my favourite is that in France in medieval times one punishment for an adulterous wife was to make her run naked through the streets of the town chasing – you guessed it – a chicken. You’ve got to give the French points for originality.

I wonder what the adulterous husband had to do? Your suggestions please.

Modern Life

The funniest cheezburger yet

Via Hoyden about Town:

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Current Affairs

Happy Australia Day!

The flag flying at EnnuinMy Country by Dorothea McKellar

a poem about Australia

The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies –
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of rugged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror
The wide brown land for me!

The stark white ring-barked forests,
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon,
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops,
And ferns the warm dark soil.

For example- a man with cardiovascular problem, who is undergoing the influence of impotence. cialis online Ever got those http://www.heritageihc.com/endocrine india generic viagra posted on your Honda fansite? The spammers probably thought a triangular blue pill spins up your twinturbos more rapidly. Often levitra without prescription classes are found between husband and wife because of sexual disorders. An alkaline diet can help http://www.heritageihc.com/digestive generic levitra bile return to an alkaline state. Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When, sick at heart, around us
We see the cattle die
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the rainbow gold,
For flood and fire and famine
She pays us back threefold.
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand
Though earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.

I don’t think I’ve ever read the whole poem. It’s quite inspiring isn’t it?

And in this spirit of nationalist fervour, in a country who has a country music singer as their top Australian (no not Keith Urban), can I direct you to our favourite online forum and blog just for Aussie bloggers and friends. 🙂

Current Affairs

Mosquito economics

a neglected swimming pool ... okay it was mine last year... before we got a pool boyMosquitoes could be the canaries in the mineshaft of the American economy.

It has been a dry year in California. They have been in a grip of a drought. Normally this would mean that the mosquito population would be reduced, but this year in some areas, this has not been the case.

Why?

Swimming pools, neglected when the banks foreclose on homeowners, have become breeding grounds.

The fact that there’s a noticable problem with mosquitoes is an indication of the number of foreclosures.

Stockton is a prime example.

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This is the human end of the banks’ mortgage crisis. A crisis according to a BBC article I read recently that could “… have a reduction of total credit to the economy of two trillion dollars”.

Will it affect us here in Australia?

If it leads to global recession… yes. Simply put as far as I can tell (and I am no economist) – if the biggest economy in the world stops buying, then suppliers – for example China – will be affected. And who is buying all our natural resources and keeping the boom rolling in WA? You got it.

I’ll be watching those mosquito reports.

An excellent BBC Documentary on this subject.

Modern Life

At last! An Aussie blogging forum

Aussie Forum

Thanks to Meg, Snos and Andrew we now have access to a forum where we can share, discuss and learn ways to blog better. Already I have learned so much and I’ve barely had time to brush the surface.

One of the lovely features is the Coffee Lounge – I love the name – where you can meet folk online and even arrange face-to-face meetings. I think there are already embryonic plans for catch-ups in Sydney and Melbourne.

There is also lots of help for bloggers of all stripes – be it WordPress, Blogger or well whatever – so if you have some expertise or are looking for some help – head on over.

In the very short time it has been running the community has grown amazingly. Here are the latest stats:

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Total Posts: 1366
Total Topics: 215
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How cool is that?

I hope to see you there.

Modern Life

A small uggy concern

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Kelley will say: Serves me right! I shouldn’t wear ugg boots! 😉

Connecticut, Health, Hugamuga

Americans do food well

We went out to lunch yesterday at some restaurant whose name we can’t remember but was just outside Stamford mall – oh yes we went to a mall – and decided that Americans do do food well. Sure the portions are big but the service is great, the food is delicious and the restaurants cosy. On top of that it’s relatively cheap. Groover and I had meals yesterday that would have cost around $20 a plate in Perth for half that.

I can see weight gain could be an issue.

But as well as they do food well, the coffee is lousy.

Trying to explain to someone in Starbucks that what you want is a long expresso style coffee – impossible! Of course saying “a long black” which is what we call it in Australia is out of the question. I am missing my Saeco… 🙁

In the meantime we’ve experienced another aspect of American culture: The doctor’s surgery. My Orchid Hunter has a very nasty flu. Feverish, heavy cough, sleeping for nearly two days solid – he feels terrible and when you have a houseful of 12 people you want it sorted out quickly.

My sister has found this great doctor. Here’s how it works for her. He charges an annual fee of around US$1500 per child. For that fee you get a doctor who is prepared to see you anytime. This guy will come to their home. He will go with you to specialists. If your kid breaks his arm at school he’ll go to the school and sort it out. He only wants a maximum of 300 patients and that means he can really take care of your child when the child needs him.

For my sister, whose eldest daughter has had needed a lot of medical care, Dr Eric is their lifesaver. And the surgery is a delight! I wanted to be sick and a child again. Check out the photos of the different exam rooms filled with murals and fun lazer lights.
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Hugamuga sat on a hippo couch while Dr Eric spoke to him and explained what he was doing. He was so engaging. He did a test for strep throat and told us how it worked – like a pregnancy test – in simple terms that made us understand without making us feel thick. An excellent experience. Brilliant.

Having the whole family in one house is lovely. The house is big enough that we have our own space – indeed my sister – Aussie to the core – calls out “Cooee” to find her kids, and it is nice to have time to make Christmas together.

Christmas Play

The two girls and their Uncle – my bro – have already put on a Christmas play. My sister – must make up a name for her soon – has a little theatre in the basement, and as you can see in the photo below they went to some trouble with their costumes. Poshi Junior is Father Christmas, Bear – her cousin – is Rudolf and Uncle Banana is naughty Vixen.

The best bit was JP throwing her hands up and saying “Poof” whenever she wanted the scene to end. Hilarious. And “Poof” has become the new word of this Christmas.

Today we go to a foodstore where there are singing vegetables. You gotta love America!

Random

Answering Machine Etiquette

The other day I rang a popular cartoonist. He was the subject of an interview and we were trying to get hold of him. His home phone just had one of those generic Telstra announcements and was continually engaged. Grrr. The time had been arranged with his publicist and it was live radio. Anyway eventually I got his mobile phone and rang it. His voicemail was simply:

Leave a message *beeep*

Not too chatty then. This did not auger well for a lively interview.

But this post is not about his interview but his answering machine message, because of course then I went on leave and had to change all my answering machine messages.

What is the perfect answering machine message?

I think there are a couple of guidelines to follow:

  1. It can’t be too long. People get frustrated having to listen to a long message and might be paying International rates.
  2. It can’t be too short. It needs to convey enough information so that the caller knows they have reached the right number, have registered that they have got an answering machine, and gives them an indication of when their message might be returned. ie: I’m not at my phone until xx date.

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  3. If a business phone, you can’t leave a funny message.
  4. You must speak clearly.

These guidelines raise more questions:

What information should you have on your message? (mobiles? email addresses?)

At the moment mine says:

Hi you’ve rung Cellobella from xxx, I’m on holidays until xxx. Any enquiries should go to xxx on xxxx xxxx. Cheers!

Should you allow your kids to do the home machine message? (Personally I’m not too keen on this)

And then of course what is the etiquette of returning phone calls?

I’m rubbish at it myself. I hate checking the machine – especially at work. I force myself to do it every day. Which is odd because I am very good at replying to emails quickly and efficiently.

I’ve solved the problem at home through accident. Our answering machine is stuffed. Oh it answers the call alright but we can’t hear your messages.

So here’s what you’ll hear if you ring the SultanaHouse:

Thanks for calling [xxxxxxxx]. If you need to get hold of us please ring our mobiles. Do not leave a message we won’t be able to hear it. The answering machine doesn’t work. Isn’t that useful. Have a good day. Bye

It occurs to me that this isn’t ideal. You waste your call. We don’t get the message. I think we’d be better off with no answering machine at all.

What does your answering machine say?

Groover, Random

Why surfing is like sex

“Surfing is a strange sport. It’s like sex. All week we talk about it. We spend hours on the telephone finding out whether or not conditions look good to do it. We argue about where to go to do it. And when it finally comes to doing it, we spend seven hours in rubber suits for what may amount to a 15 second ride after which we get dumped and hurt and then spend the rest of the time avoiding the wet patch.”

[excerpt of a letter from Groover to the Dark Horse early in 1990]

Yes ,The Dark Horse has arrived and we spent an enjoyable evening catching up and getting to know his lady. TDH brought with him some ephemeral reminders of days gone past including some letters Groover wrote TDH as a young man – before he met me.

lads

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“We ended up at 1 o’clock on Monday morning in our grundies with three policemen making “We’re going to arrest you” noises, in the sea, in October, outside a bombed out hotel, with two girls throwing our clothes and my bank cards, to the wind. So my first night was pretty uneventful.”

But the classic line for me was his sign off:

“Lend us a fiver! P.S. I’m pregnant.”