Category Archives: Modern Life

Current Affairs

Headlines that make me laugh

Driving down Stirling Highway on the way to work during peak hour in the morning is not fun.

From about eight o’clock it is chockers between Eric St and Claremont shopping centre… and I mean chockers.

But there is one bright spot on the journey…

Funny sign

It’s an office where the old fire station used to be at the top of the hill just before you start the slow crawl past the two private schools whose mummies and daddies insist on dropping their little darlings off… at least I assume that’s why it is so slow… during holidays time the drive is a breeze.
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Every week or so there is a new headline…

Last week was “More Storm damage in Victoria” referring of course to the Melbourne Storm rugby league team salary cap fiasco, and before that “All batts are off” referring to the Peter Garrett home insulation embarrassment.

I can’t wait for them to change the signs and I was rewarded with my patience on Saturday when I drove past and saw their comment on the Troy Buswell/Adele Carles affair.

Cute.

Uncategorized

Tunnel time for teen

3 Comments

My baby is thirteen and she is gorgeous.

Tunnel Tour

Today we went on the tunnel tour under Fremantle Prison, the largest convict built establishment in Australia.

I think my girl was impressed that the jail was still in use when “I was alive”.

In fact they closed the prison in 1991 and then had to wait a year before they could open the old jail to the public… it was made of limestone… they used toilet buckets… limestone is very porous and holds the smell apparently… they had to air the place out.

Anyway the tunnels were made in the 1880s to harness the water in the underground aquifer, by 1910 the water was getting saline from a rising water table and by then of course the Mundaring Weir was supplying the water to the metro area.

And they were forgotton about.

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The tunnels are well cool.

It’s what is known as an Extreme Heritage Experience.

There are harnesses and headlamps involved.

Anyway we had fun, learned a bit, and loved spending the morning together… although I think my gorgeous girl would have also enjoyed hanging out at home playing with her tablet.

I love you gorgeous girl!

Fremantle Prison

Commuting

It’s raining it’s pouring

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Or at least it was when I was trying to walk home…

Two commuters cower under the shelter at Cottesloe Train Station as the rain pours down.

What better way to follow a post about sex than by talking about the weather?

I watched the line of showers all afternoon at work knowing that in all liklihood it would be raining when I got home.

This is the radar image from the BOM website showing a line of showers over Perth

And even though I could see the drops of rain dripping down the windows of the train outside I wasn’t prepared for just how heavy the rain was when the doors opened.

Course I couldn’t get my brollie open before the doors closed so like the rest of the startled and unprepared commuters I ran to the small shelter.

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And you know I would have got home relatively dry – apart from the bottom third of my trousers – except for that tosser who went through an enormous puddle and sprayed me with water as I walked innocently past.

Still the rain is nice I guess.

Later I saw a national weather map with a fairly impressive low over the south west.

Cool huh?

(okay I realise that only my fellow fans of the weather channel will be excited about this)

This radar image shows the south of Australia including a spectacular low over the south west

Etiquette, Relationships

To blog or not to blog

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This is a photo of me driving Groover's car. I look a bit stunned but that's because it's at night and the flash is bright.

This photo is of me driving home after a dinner party.

I submit it as evidence that I take my turn as skipper.

Anyway at dinner the other night, my host was recounting a conversation we’d had the day before.

He said – I was wondering if you asked the question to get fodder for your blog… this guy hangs around comedians a lot and sometimes he’s sure they are not making conversation – just testing out material.

I wasn’t fishing I swear but now that I think about that conversation again I think it is blog-worthy.

So the question I asked was “how soon in a relationship do you offer constructive criticism to your lover?”

The answer from the third party to this conversation was not what we expected.

And actually, thinking about that answer… I think you had to be there.

Sorry to wuss out on you.

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Maybe it depends on how much you like the person you are with.

The more you like them, the more you are willing to work on making the relationship work.

Otherwise surely you would just lie back and think of England and then not return their phone calls.

Of course by offering your (let’s not call it criticism) feedback, there is a risk that you might offend the one you like.

My take is you have to get this part of your relationship right or it has no future… right?

But you don’t need to be mean about it.

So my conclusion… be vocal – from the beginning – but with kindness.

And that means if your partner is not telling you what they like or don’t like – maybe you need to worry!

Your thoughts?

Dippity, Parenting

You may as well tell me…

2 Comments

I’ll just look it up on Google if you don’t…

Picture of Dippity with her hand under her chin looking thoughtful.

So said my daughter last night. My 12 year old.

Groover and I were talking about this low carb diet that we’re on.

Apparently one of the known side-effects is an increase in libido.

There’s even been a book written about it.

(men around the world suddenly start advocating the benefits of a low carb diet to their wives – less weight – more sex)

Anyway we’re talking obliquely about this in the way that you do around children and Dippity picks out the word “libido”.

What’s libido?

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Tell me.  I’ll just look it up if you don’t… and I don’t really want to see the pictures…

Good point.

Remember in the olden days when we as children looked up words (if we could spell them) in a dictionary.

You remember – they were big thick books with words in lists.

It’s a different world my friend.

We chose to tell her what libido meant.

And gone are the days when we could spell out words to hide the meaning from our kids.

They were good days…

Extracurricular, Work

Sky diving on radio

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Wayyyy back in 1991 I was involved in a radio appeal for the RFDS which involved me jumping out of a plane over the city of Perth.

I was 24.

The other day I found the broadcast recording.
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Unfortunately I’ve missed the best bit which was screaming as I jumped out the plane and then silence for 20 seconds as we fell 6000 feet.

Instead what you hear is adreniline coursing through my body making me sound like a right tit.

And despite protestations that I would DEFINITELY do it again…

I haven’t.

Extracurricular

Vladimir Putin is a vampire

4 Comments

So as you know Vladimir Putin is Russia’s Prime Minister.

Sadly my daughter didn’t and when she saw the name Vladimir she immediately thought “head vampire”.

As you would, given her classic education which included the Twilight series.

And you know… she’s 12.

We were playing the Name Game – have you played it?

It’s a classic parlour game.

First everyone writes down about ten names on slips of paper and puts them in the middle – you want 60-80 names.

The names can be famous or just famous to you.

You nearly always get Adolf Hitler and Margaret Thatcher but once a friend of Groover’s put in the entire 1973 line up of Leeds United.

I don’t recommend that.

🙂

Anyway once the names are in, divide into teams… and you take turns to pick up slips of paper and try and get your team-mates to tell you the name on the slip of paper.

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You have four rounds of play:

First round you can use as many words as you like to describe the person without using initials etc… so for Vladimir for example – you might say “Russian Prime Minister… no not Medvedev… this guy was president before Medvedev… he’s quite good looking, fit guy… actually so is Medvedev… his last name is the opposite of takeout… etc.”

Second round you have three words:  For example “Russian Prime Minister”  or as my darling daughter said “Head vampire man”.

Third round you have one word:  eg “Russian” although in our game we said “vampire”.

And finally in the fourth round – no words, just actions. 

You can imagine the actions we had!

So you can see that sometimes it’s better NOT to know who the name is.

I remember my brother once referring to Bronwyn Bishop (Liberal politician) as “some churchy chick”.

I never looked at her the same way again.

All of this is to say that it was a lovely weekend down in Dunsborough.

Good friends, fine wine and of course the name game!

And who knows… maybe Vladimir Putin IS a vampire?

Theatre, Theatresports

So what is Theatresports anyway?

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Jen asks me to get back to basics following my Life Lessons from Theatresports post so here goes…

Theatresports was created by a guy called Keith Johnstone.

First of all Theatresports is a vehicle for improvised theatre.

A mechanic.

Ah but what is improvised theatre?

Acting without a script would be the first thing that comes to mind.

Theatresports then gives you a framework for a show… and games to set up the improvisation.

For example – you could do a game called “n-words” – this is one of my favourites.

In this game each person is given a certain number and they can only say that number of words at one time.

It can be hilarious.

If you can remember that you only have a certain number of words to say!

Another fave is when two cast members speak in gibberish and the other two “translate” what they are saying.

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I guess I love it because I can’t sing but this gives me licence to.

Having said that, I never got to play it in the three nights I was on.

Sigh.

Another favourite is Half Life.

In this game you improvise a scene, then replay it in half the time, half the time again, and so on until you replay it in about 3 seconds.

It is a lot of fun.

You play in teams, but the competition is really for the audience.

Does that make any sense at all?

Suffice to say that it is a bit like stepping off a cliff – you have no idea what the night will throw at you – you just have to step off and go for it.

It is very liberating.

And isn’t that what we do in life anyway?

** I don’t think I’ve done that great a job – help anyone?

Commuting, Current Affairs

The day after the rain

3 Comments

On Sunday, the sky was the deepest blue:

Umbrella Tree

Then yesterday Perth had the worst storm certainly since 1994 – a storm which knocked over our back fence and uprooted our tree – and probably since 1978’s Cyclone Alby.

The storm was intense where I was and I was nowhere near the centre.

In the city the hail was fingernail size rather than tennis ball sized but the hail came in horizontally and the rain was very heavy.

The thunder cracked the sky causing the ground to shudder and the lightning was intense and frightening.

I was in my car.

With the traffic a nightmare – Perth was in gridlock – I decided I would do more good if I went back to work to help out.

I got home about nine thirty.

By that time the roads were clear – clear of traffic – but covered with debris.
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We were lucky – no damage.

Groover who was in Floreat at the time of the hailstorm had parked undercover and his car was spared the very large hail that fell there.

Early Morning Clouds

This morning the sky was blue with a few Simpson like clouds scudding across the sky.

The air felt fresh and washed.

But it soon became hot and humid.

We expected more storms today but they didn’t seem to happen, well not near me.

It made for a beautiful sunset.

Sunset

Dippity, Extracurricular

Drama queen

2 Comments

This would be my daughter.

She is currently in the middle of a drama festival at the school and we are hosting three girls from the French International School in Hong Kong.

It is an interesting experience.

They are very sweet girls.

Very polite.

Fun.

I’ve never hosted before so it has been a learning curve.

I’ve discovered that all children like Coco Pops and that there are some kids who like fruit as much as my two fruit bats.

Does the fact that I bought them Coco Pops make me a bad host mother?

I did offer them a cooked breakfast.

Of course once a kid sees Coco Pops they can’t go past them.
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Actually, I’d prefer muesli please is not something you are going to hear if a packet of sugar is on the table.

They are very self sufficient.

My daughter got up this morning before me and organised breakfast.

All I ended up doing was loading the dishwasher and accepting their thanks.

Er… no problem.

Then they walked to school (we don’t live far away).

Job done.

Tonight we’re going to their performance and then taking them out for dinner and a bit of sightseeing.

Goodness knows where.

Anyone got any scathingly brilliant ideas?

I confess, this is the bit I’ve been worried about the most all weekend.