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My new notification alert

Is taken from this video:


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It’s very good.

Scene from the dinner table

Okay then Dippity – what do you want to achieve with your life?  What do you want to do?

Oh I don’t know…

C’mon you must have something you want to do…

Well…
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Yes?

I’d like to take over the world with my army of flying evil ninja monkeys!

???

Where did this child come from?

A guaranteed laugh

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Hilarious!

If only I’d been so clever…

It may be apocryphal, but I kind of wish it were true… wouldn’t you like to have been the student who penned this?

Students were assigned to read 2 books, “Titanic” & “My Life” by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let’s not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica’s forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn’t remember Jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica…..ooh, let’s not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary…basically the same thing.

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Eat my skort!

A classic line from my Simpsons inspired daughter tonight. I don’t know whether to feel worried that she watches too much telly or proud that she came out with such a fully sick line.

Of course there have been other memorable moments over the years… here’s just a few:

Daddy’s got a trumpet – (after listening to Groover humming in the front seat)
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He was killed in the First World War- (long pause) – It wasn’t me!
Who wrote ‘Hugamuga’ on your bedroom wall Hugamuga? – It was Dippity (she was one)
R U B B I S H – said in scary Exorcist voice – a little girl aged 2.