Tag Archives: communication

Etiquette, Relationships

To blog or not to blog

4 Comments

This is a photo of me driving Groover's car. I look a bit stunned but that's because it's at night and the flash is bright.

This photo is of me driving home after a dinner party.

I submit it as evidence that I take my turn as skipper.

Anyway at dinner the other night, my host was recounting a conversation we’d had the day before.

He said – I was wondering if you asked the question to get fodder for your blog… this guy hangs around comedians a lot and sometimes he’s sure they are not making conversation – just testing out material.

I wasn’t fishing I swear but now that I think about that conversation again I think it is blog-worthy.

So the question I asked was “how soon in a relationship do you offer constructive criticism to your lover?”

The answer from the third party to this conversation was not what we expected.

And actually, thinking about that answer… I think you had to be there.

Sorry to wuss out on you.

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Maybe it depends on how much you like the person you are with.

The more you like them, the more you are willing to work on making the relationship work.

Otherwise surely you would just lie back and think of England and then not return their phone calls.

Of course by offering your (let’s not call it criticism) feedback, there is a risk that you might offend the one you like.

My take is you have to get this part of your relationship right or it has no future… right?

But you don’t need to be mean about it.

So my conclusion… be vocal – from the beginning – but with kindness.

And that means if your partner is not telling you what they like or don’t like – maybe you need to worry!

Your thoughts?

Health, Relationships

What to say to someone with cancer

10 Comments

It’s horrible news.

It takes you out of your comfort zone.

Your easy relationship of the past has gone.

Suddenly all the rules have changed.  Your friend could be dying.  Suddenly you don’t know what to say.

Big C is in the room.

But have the rules changed?  

Has your relationship altered?

Does your friend feel different about you?

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The only thing that has changed is your comfort level.

Get over it.

I was speaking with someone with cancer last night, in fact, she was going in for some more chemo today.

When she was first diagnosed, eight years ago, she said the most marvellous thing that happened was that three male friends of hers rang her and told her they loved her.

One of them (I’m proud to say) was my dad – who went to school and university with her husband.

She has carried that with her in the eight years since.

So if you are in any doubt as to what to say to someone diagnosed with cancer, the lesson I’ve learned is to ring them, and tell them that they are loved by you.

As Patrick Dodson, WA Senior of the Year said – “I don’t know what the questions are – but I know the answer is love.”