This photo is of me driving home after a dinner party.
I submit it as evidence that I take my turn as skipper.
Anyway at dinner the other night, my host was recounting a conversation we’d had the day before.
He said – I was wondering if you asked the question to get fodder for your blog… this guy hangs around comedians a lot and sometimes he’s sure they are not making conversation – just testing out material.
I wasn’t fishing I swear but now that I think about that conversation again I think it is blog-worthy.
So the question I asked was “how soon in a relationship do you offer constructive criticism to your lover?”
The answer from the third party to this conversation was not what we expected.
And actually, thinking about that answer… I think you had to be there.
Sorry to wuss out on you.
But I think the question is an interesting one.
Maybe it depends on how much you like the person you are with.
The more you like them, the more you are willing to work on making the relationship work.
Otherwise surely you would just lie back and think of England and then not return their phone calls.
Of course by offering your (let’s not call it criticism) feedback, there is a risk that you might offend the one you like.
My take is you have to get this part of your relationship right or it has no future… right?
But you don’t need to be mean about it.
So my conclusion… be vocal – from the beginning – but with kindness.
And that means if your partner is not telling you what they like or don’t like – maybe you need to worry!