The last couple of months haven’t been great for me. I’ve felt very… thin skinned.
Ever felt like that?
Like the tiniest thing can break through and bring tears to the surface?
At first, I thought it might be hormonal. It seemed to be in cycles.
I’m nearly 43 and I’ve had a hysterectomy which I’ve been told can trigger early menopause.
(I still have my ovaries… if they are removed you get menopause immediately)
So I’m quietly freaking out because not only am I feeling emotional a lot of the time but I’m thinking: “Shit! I’m too young to be menopausal!”
It still took me 6 weeks to get to a doctor for a blood test (denial?) and when I did the blood tests came back clear. I’m not menopausal. Not even peri-menopausal… although the hormone levels are getting close.
So then the question was – why the tears?
Was I depressed?
The doctor offered drugs… but saying yes to drugs seemed like giving up.
“You don’t have to feel like this”, she said.
Sure… but taking prescription drugs… I don’t want to be that person.
Not yet anyway.
So then she suggested I try St John’s Wort.
Two weeks later (denial again?) I gave it a go.
Instant resiliance. Instant.
Hmmm I thought… what the hell am I taking?
At this point you are probably wondering why I didn’t Dr Google it before I took it… to be honest I just thought – hey it’s herbal, probably won’t make any difference, how effective could it be.
Which just goes to show that you shouldn’t take herbal medicine lightly.
So… does that mean that I’ve given up? That I have mild depression?
It’s a scary thought and one I’m choosing not to think about too much at the moment. I prefer to think that I’m just going through a bad patch and that already things are looking better.
Hey I’m blogging more again… that’s got to be good sign.