Yes I had a mammogram. First one ever.
The clinic was very efficient. I was in and out within about 15 minutes.
I probably would have been quicker but I asked the nurse if I could have a look at the plates.
Normally you get the photos taken and walk away to wait for the results, two weeks later, by post.
It took me three years to get a mammogram done.
Three years since I was sternly talked to by two of my closest friends to get them done.
Two years with the note from my GP in my handbag.
It wasn’t because I was scared.
I honestly thought the tales of discomfort were probably exaggerated for effect.
The tales are probably exaggerated to the same level that pain in childbirth is exaggerated.
Not. In other words.
You think at first that it’s not going to be that bad.
It’s firm pressure, yes, but painful? No.
But then the nurse presses down just a little bit more.
You stand there, caught with one breast in a vice, thinking “For f**k’s sake take the picture already!”
And then they take the sideways picture.
Yikes! It’s even worse. Breasts aren’t supposed to be squashed that way.
So what’s the verdict?
Well I don’t know do I?
She talked about ducts and probable cysts but as they say in the classics – no news is good news.
I’ll hope just for a letter in the mail in a fortnight.
I told my mum by the way that I was having one done and she shocked me!
I’ve had a good life she said. I don’t want to know.
That. Does. Not. Compute.
She’s not even 70.
Mind you, she is so healthy and fit she’ll live to 100 or more with or without painful squishings.
Still it was a little… unsettling.
And as for me… two years until the next one.
UPDATE: I have the all clear.