Yesterday Santa came to work to wish me a merry Christmas.
I had been a VERY good girl indeed and was given a bottle of Amberley Shiraz.
I felt like drinking it straight-away but that isn’t the behaviour of a very good girl is it?
*warning… rant ahead.
This Christmas has been stressful. I find myself crying on the way to work for no good reason. Well apart from the obvious ones.
You know, working full time while trying to get the house and garden in some kind of order for Christmas day and do my Christmas shopping.
It would have all been a lot less stressful if I was an organised person and did all that preparation stuff weeks ago.
Of course no one else cares what the house and garden looks like so why I bother trying to get anyone else to help is beyond me.
So here’s my day yesterday.
Got up early to start work early enough to enable me to leave early to do some Christmas shopping.
Left at 3 and went shopping for table decorations, crackers and the like.
Got home at 6, put on a load of laundry and had dinner (cooked by Groover).
Cleaned up after dinner.
Folded 5 loads of washing. (washed in part by Dippity)
Spent two hours trimming and weeding and sweeping the jungle next to the pool.
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Went to bed.
This morning I woke at six with a blinding headache. Took two paracetomol. Went to work.
And I’ve been crying all morning.
I can’t work out why. I’m not normally this much of a mess.
And it’s pressure I am applying to myself.
As I said, the rest of my family don’t care that the pool is a mess so why am I beating myself up about it. Why add it to the impossibly long list of crap I have to do before Christmas?
Why not just cut myself a break?
I guess the fact is that I am not superhuman. I can’t work full time and organise the house and dinner for 16 people, and go to our regular Christmas eve party and organise Christmas presents in three days.
It’s not like I’m even doing the cooking! Groover is (apart from a salad) and we’re getting everyone to bring food.
So you know what?
I’m letting go trying to be perfect. If presents aren’t bought, if there’s a big pile of clippings next to the pool, if the house is a tip, well… hey I’m human.
A normal, disorganised, but hopefully not teary person.
Merry Christmas.
PS: Of course I won’t really let go. I’ll beat myself up for being a bad mother, a lousy housekeeper, a lazy gardener, a stressed-out hostess and somehow, it will all come together.
Just book me in to the funny farm in January.
I’m sorry : (
I don’t blame you for being stressed out.
I get really stressed out when we have people over. I think there’s such an expectation to make everything perfect.
The end of your post reminds me of me. I constantly tell myself not to relax–give myself a break. But it never works. I still feel inadequate and guilty.
What do you mean you’re not perfect?
Christ…How will the rest of us cope?????
You are absolutely bloody marvellous in my book, now go and buy a new pair of shoes…and forget the clippings, they’ll turn into mulch eventually 🙂
Luv Kel
Did you say sixteen people for dinner? Oh man, that’d send me to the mad house. Even if I wasn’t doing the cooking. (we hide over here in Sydney instead)
We have loads of people here for NYE, that’s the one I get stressed about – and I’m not working full-time. Well, not for money anyway!
Next you get a chance (take the chance) lock yourself in your room. Cry. Read a book. Drink something. Eat something. Then re-appear when you are damn well ready.
Merry Christmas!
I have been a total Christmas Grouch today and I’m not working full-time AND we’re not even going to be home for Christmas. I just get it into my head I want everything perfect before we go away. The most frustrating thing is it all looked GREAT 3 weeks ago when we had a birthday party here. How can a house get so BAD in just 3 weeks???? 🙁
Hope you can find a way to relax and enjoy the season. Merry Christmas. 🙂
Hey, Santa looks a little frisky with you sitting on his lap! Glad you got a visit to brighten your day.
You’re right, you ARE only human and you shouldn’t worry about the small details but you’re going to anyways. You go about things a lot like my mom from the sound of it, she always stresses herself out over the holidays and then is too worried to actually relax and enjoy yourself. Hopefully you’ll get your preparations done in time and can enjoy some wine and relax!
hey, the xmas neurotics hit you hard! i tried soo sooo hard not to get my usual head trip out for its annual parade but boo hoo failed …had an enormous bingle with little billy lid. think i’ve now successfully passed on my messed upness about xmas to her. wow what a good parent i am!
btw what a fantastic hair cut – you look hot and santa looks happy!
new year drinky poos darling??
Sorry, it’s all getting to you this time of year. We all go through that I think. No matter how “organised” I think I am I still end up running round like a headless chook at the last minute. Last night I was up till 2am wrapping presents because I won’t get another chance to do it between now and Christmas.
Hope you get a chance to relax and enjoy the day. 🙂
No wonder –
I hope it all comes together in the end and you can enjoy the day stress free.
I have been there too when I am the only one who worries what people will think if everything isn’t perfect …eeeks I should be doing something now.
This, too, will pass and let the good times roll.
Learning to let go of perfection is hard, but it can be done. I know you already realise that the company of friends is more important than a perfectly manicured garden, start from there and move toward a less-than-perfect, stress-free christmas.
UPDATE: Came home and the kids and Groover had moved all the leaves away. Groover had also bought extra glasses. Then I managed to get in some Christmas shopping, and The Poshi is meeting me for a drink.
Christmas feels possible again.
Thanks for all YOUR support too. I hope your Christmasses are less stressy than mine has been so far.
… mum u need to like… take a chill pill….. and TELL us this so we can HELP…
Nothing beats the wisdom of a child…
I have a daughter who kicks me in the bottom regularly when life feels like this.
What a well raised daughter you have!