One of the speakers at a recent forum I attended was psychotherapist Jackie Furey. An entertaining speaker, I found her words touched me in ways I can’t explain… or maybe I can… what time of the month is it?
She talked about it being fine… in the way that when someone says “how are you?” You say: “Fine.”
Jackie says in psychotherapist-speak, fine means:
Fucked up
Insecure
Neurotic and
Emotional
Is she right?
Her message was that if you don’t do your feelings, they’ll do you. And I guess that’s what touched a nerve with me. I don’t think I have been doing my feelings and once a month – bang – they do me.
I’m teary, emotional, paranoid, despairing.
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Yesterday I noticed that my big toe on my left foot was numb… that weird feeling numb just before you get pins and needles – you know what I mean? I can feel the fuzziness go up the back of my leg and I think it ends in my neck. My toe has now been weirdly numb for two days.
Maybe it’s unconnected but somehow I wonder if my feelings are doing me. I’m off to the doctor tomorrow to check it out and maybe a chiropractor or osteopath as well.
Of course, Groover has been completely supportive… “Maybe you’ve got MS”, he says not helpfully, “…or Motor Neuron Disease… you never know it might be some sort of stroke…”
Thanks darling, just remember, you said “In sickness and in health”.
That should shut him up.
🙂
UPDATE: I’m fine. Hehe. Well, I probably have some swelling in the lower sacral part of my spine which is encroaching on a nerve so I’m going to try some antinflammatories and see if that works, do some physio or chiro, and if it’s not fixed in a couple of weeks do a cat scan to see if that gives us more clues as to what is going on. As well I’ve had full bloods taken in preparation for a general check up. The first for years. Am I a bloke?
In the meantime it’s just me and my fuzzy toe.
yes I am FINE too … and other days I am Not !
I wish you well at the Docs …I don’t know and I won’t even guess – stay away from DR Google or you do your head in.
I find that I have to agree with this more often than not. I know plenty of people who are absolutely F.I.N.E.
I totally agree about expressing your emotions. I am aware that I need to express my feelings, yet still have meltdowns when I’ve been too busy, too strong, too judgemental of them!
Glad to see you are getting the toe checked – and that you include the chiropracter in your physical problem solving team. I hope it goes well.
On Monday mornings I am always FINE. I get less FINE as I get closer to the weekend. Some Friday afternoons close to home time I feel like I am almost euphoric. Hope all goes ok with the doctor. **Sending good vibes***
It’s the days I AM fine lately when I worry…….
I’ve been contemplating physio or chiro too. I’ve had trouble with my neck and shoulder for months now and I probably SHOULD get it checked, but I’m not sure I can afford the cost. But once I am at work and constantly moving I’m F.I.N.E. so I think I don’t really need to go, then I get home and sit down and stiffen up, so I’m wriggling and wincing and hubby says “are you okay ?” and of course I say “I’m F.I.N.E.” heh.
I hope your problem gets better.
Good morning, John blogs sent me over to read your post which she thought was fitting with my crying. So I did and I agree, there are times when we say one thing and mean another..so I’ll bookmark your site and come back.
Great thoughts…good content..
My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram
http://www.grammology.com
Great to get all your comments. When it comes to emotions I agree… better out than in.
In fact the same psychotherapist said – and I thought this was interesting – that blokes who go into rages often do so as a response to shame and not anger…
I thought that was rather profound.
PS… and it’s not MS or MN… just a pressed nerve… 🙂
Glad to hear that you are ok (with the toe). I used to use FINE (in that context) to describe myself when i didn’t really want to tell the world how I was really feeling. Those who knew me well, knew that FINE meant something totally different.
I still use it when I can’t be bothered letting others in, it can be quite convenient, so long as it is not all the time.
Hugs, hope things are better than FINE for you soon
I’m fine !
My girlfriend would always say that after we began a relationship in 2002. We were soul mates.2004 her cancer re-emerged and had a breast removed.After she recovered the first time we went out in public she stood in front of the mirror making sure all was square and level for what seemed 20 mins. She kept saying i’m fine. I soon relised all was not fine, she was hiding something deep inside. Deep emotions and hurt from a previous relationship that was killing her inside. This all i believe caused the cancer that would eventually kill her in May 08. I’m fine mean’t that i need help. I am a good communicator but i could not unfold this.30 years of being i’m fine needs professional help, i did as much as i possibly could do but it was up to her. 5 days before she died she relised this was no longer a game, but it was too late. I lost my soul mate, don’t let it happen to you.
Thanks for sharing your story Richard. I hear you.