Why you shouldn’t criticise Fashion Week

my little black dressA couple of days ago I was in Sydney for a work shin-dig while Australian Fashion Week was on and I posted a slightly sarcastic post about what a fashionista I was… not.

I waved a trendy vermilion scarf at the fashion gods my friend, and the gods turned to look at me in my LBD and sighed.

That one is tempting fate, they said. And poof! They flicked a finger in my general direction.

The fashion gods give

Oblivious I sashayed downstairs to meet my fellow part-tay goers, enjoy a little pre-dinner drinkie, and hop on the bus.

I love your dress, some cooed and I felt pretty good about my outfit. The ultra-cute Lisa Ho number (okay from last season but I just love it), my S&M boots. I felt hot.

We had the canapes, the entree and a few beverages and I wandered upstairs to the ladies.

The fashion gods take away

Now I should point out that the dress is a little – tight – and despite my best efforts – control tops – it had been a bit of a struggle to zip up.

So I sit down and breathe out and as I do, I feel something give.

A certain tightness across the torso had lessened.

I bring my hand behind my back and realise the horrible truth:

The zip had split. Completely.

A wardrobe malfunction of mammoth proportions and most of the evening to go.

How I survived

Luckily that vermilion scarf I’d waved earlier in the evening was draped, shawl-like, around my shoulders. I pulled it down to cover the zip and walked carefully back to my table. Luckily our table was against the wall and I was able to slip my leather jacket over my dress without exposing my back to an audience. But dancing later? No. I don’t think so.

The Lesson

And that is why I say, my friends, you must never diss the fashion gods or any festival they might choose to support. They have the power to use fashion against you!

Fashion week? A brilliant event for all. That’s what I say… now.

Sydney Harbour

The confident smile of someone who doesn’t realise her zip is about to leave the party without her.

5 Replies to “Why you shouldn’t criticise Fashion Week”

  1. Oh Cellobella, my heart goes out to you. I was once 14 and rollerskating at the local rink, fell over and split my black cords. The shame haunts me to this day.

    Congratulations to a dignified end to such a mortifying experience. I slunk out of the rink and never returned.

  2. hehe – it must be a skewed bloggers’ perception but what I mainly thought – after getting my jacket on was – this WILL make a good blog topic!

    A true fashion victim!

  3. Yes – it’s a wonderful opportunity to loosen all those repressed adolescent memories of which I have so many. Now I have a blog therapist I can sack my local drive through (yeah! right!)

  4. Such aplomb. We never guessed!
    (That ‘control tops’ bit made me laugh too. There was at least one young person at my table who was genuinely shocked at my guess that a few of us in the room would be wearing a variety of optical-deluding devices. Ah, the innocence of yoof.)

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